Monthly Archives: April 2010

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How Can I Possibly Rejoice in My Suffering?

Spill The Beans

Dear Jennifer,

I have been reading your book, Lessons I Learned in the Dark, and you say that one should rejoice in their suffering.  All I seem to do is get frustrated and depressed.  I have the same trials day in and day out–people making fun of me or dismissing me because they see I have a disability.

I feel that I always have to prove myself to everybody, even though I have become a success.  As you say in your book, I have become very independent, but I feel isolated.  I feel that socially; I have not experienced what others have experienced at my age.  I try to pray, but feel I make little progress.  Your book makes it seem this whole thing has been a pretty smooth ride for you, with a few bumps in the road, in which you are able to conquer most everything.

Thank you, Wendi

Jennifer’s Answer

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Entering a New Gate

Green field - new gateThe farmer recounted how his cows behaved when he put up a new gate:

“Mooo, that’s not been here before…Must turn around.” 

He described how they shift, shake their heads and moo.  Some turn and wander away.  Some stand before it paralyzed.

That very gate may be the way to greener pastures and lush surroundings.  That single gate may be what stands between the thirsty cow and a fresh watering hole.  But the cow stares at the gate–half confused, half offended–and seems to think, “Moo, moo…that doesn’t belong here.  I’m just gonna turn around and go back, or stand here and stare at it.”

We often act like cows at new gates.  

What we really long for is just on the other side of something new and unfamiliar, but we often forfeit what we really desire because to get there means we have to face what is new and unfamiliar.  It feels entirely too risky. However, gates are not barriers unless you are unwilling to open them and pass through.

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Dance of Light

I love it when someone is able to help others gain understanding.

I think this unique artist, JD Lewis, has done just that. Though he is now blind due to Retinitis Pigmentosa, this acrylic painting he created along his journey into darkness remains as an interesting illustration of the many stages of sight loss.

He captures the “dance of light” that occurs when he tries to focus.

I, of course, can’t see his painting, but based on his description, it sounds like he painted exactly what goes on in my eyes too.

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Watch Out for the Negative White Rapper

negativeKnock, knock. 

The thud at my front door soon after the school bus arrived wasn’t unusual or alarming.  I simply assumed it was one of Connor’s friends from the neighborhood with a kick ball and an invitation to play. 

When I swung the door open though, I realized it wasn’t one of the neighborhood boys.  It was a male voice and with caricature like swagger, he schmoozed “Well, hello Miss America!”  I instinctively rolled my eyes. 

“Oh, Please!” I thought, “I’m 46, no make-up, standing right before you with sweats on and not falling for that empty flattery.”

“What do you need, Sir?” I asked with as much firmness as possible.  

He began to fall into a pitch he had clearly given millions of times before.  I really have no idea what he was selling because he hadn’t finished his first sentence before something very unusual came over me. I interrupted him and began this chant-like response that stopped him mid sentence.

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Green Tea, Philly, & Friends

I brewed a cup of my latest favorite tea and sipped it as I wrote this month’s Java.  It’s Ginger Peach Green Tea by Stash, and it has 100% natural ingredients–green tea, ginger root, peach flavor, and Japanese Matcha. For a green tea, it’s bursting with robust flavor.  It’s the flavor of spring!

Jennifer and Kathy Troccoli

I tucked a few of the tea bags in my suitcase for some serious travels this month.  First, we enjoyed a fantastic Fresh Grounded Faith event in Newark, Delaware.  The women there were absolutely wonderful.  This Southern girl just loved my Yankee sisters!  Speaking of Yankees, Kathy Troccoli was my special guest, offering the perfect girlfriend blend to the weekend.  She is such a woman of grace and authenticity.  I love her music, I love her heart, and I love her accent!  And, I love her friend Ellie Lofaro, who I finally got to meet in person.  You should check her books out, too.  What a woman!

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Wounded Healer

Middle-age affords some luxuries – the ability to make honest assessments and new choices. 

holding-hands

I remember when I first felt such empowerment. It began the morning I sat upon the paper-wrapped examining table for my annual exam. I had sat on that table every January for the past six years, and each time, I felt the same chill and entertained the same thoughts. 

“I really don’t like this doctor.”

Then I would remind myself, “You don’t need to like her; you just need to respect her expertise.”

I argued back to myself, “She is cold and has no bedside manner.”

“She doesn’t have to be your best friend, just competent.”