Oh girl, I need boundaries!

Just like a child is more secure when she has boundaries, I am learning that I am more free to be me when I have boundaries too.

As I’m learning how to identify with my identity and find myself in God’s view of me, I am learning that boundaries help me.

Boundaries help me stay close to God and my true identity.

They protect me from straying into errors or lies.

They also help me agree with who I am instead of always falling for how I feel.

I’ve set up three major boundaries for myself, and I’d like to take you through each one.

Boundary One: Truth

My first boundary is truth. God’s Word — the Bible — is truth.

If I stay within the boundary of His Word, trusting and following it, I won’t feel insecure because I will know the truth that keeps me safe from lies or feelings that go haywire.

Psalm 119:11 says, “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.”

Jesus Christ is the Word become flesh. He is the living Word of God. He lives within me and His presence protects me from straying. And, His written, holy Word is hidden in my heart. As I memorize and meditate upon it, no matter what else is going on in my life, I have a resource that reminds me who I am and what I have in Christ.

When I stay in the boundary of truth, I won’t fall for lies!

Boundary Two: Other-Centeredness

My second boundary is other-centeredness.  When I stay in this boundary, I’m not so focused on me!

When my eyes are on others instead of on me, I’m happier because I am less self-aware.

When I was a painfully self-aware teenager — especially with my white cane — my mom would always remind me to focus on others. “Try to look into their eyes and ask them about themselves,” she would tell me. “That way, all they see is your caring eyes and all they are thinking about is how kind you are to them.”
My mom was right, of course. And, the added benefit of following her advice was that I would forget about myself when I was focused on someone else.

Philippians 2:3 says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”

When I stay in the boundary of other-centeredness, I won’t get stuck in selfishness.

Boundary Three: Accountability

My third boundary is accountability. It is my willingness to be responsible to another person — to tell her the truth and to live honestly and responsibly in relationship with her. You know, a buddy!

I put myself within that boundary of a safe, loving friendship with another woman who loves me and the Lord. She is willing to tell me the truth and not tell anyone else my secrets!

I need this boundary because if I isolate myself, it’s easy for me to become wise in my own eyes.

“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel.” (Proverbs 12:15 NASB)

Accountability provides protection from me acting out of what I call in my book Invisible, “my iddiction and Gomerisms.” It keeps the truth before me.

When I stay in the boundary of accountability, I’m encouraged and sharpened. As Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

Accountability also demands honesty and being honest with another person keeps me honest with myself!

So, sister, if you want to live free — really free — get some healthy boundaries!

Truth, other-centeredness, and accountability are some boundaries that will help set you free!

What other boundaries have you set up in your life to bring you freedom?