I once made the world’s worst casserole.

Oh, girl, I am not exaggerating! The recipe called for milk, but I ran out and used buttermilk instead. Bad idea.

But, my sweet family tried to be so mannerly and gracious as they swallowed each sour, sticky bite! After all, it was Christmas Eve and they were on their best holiday behavior.

When I called my dad to wish him a merry day, I told him about my Christmas Eve catastrophe, and how I had made the worst casserole. He said, “No, you didn’t. You made a great memory!”

My dad was an expert at extracting the good out of every single thing! He knew how to keep his thoughts focused on the good even when things didn’t turn out so good.

I wish bad casseroles were the worst things that ever happened in our lives. An awful casserole is nothing compared to the really tough stuff you and I deal with. It’s hard to keep your thoughts focused on the good when life isn’t so good.

But, sister, I can, and you can too!

On this episode of the 4:13 Podcast, KC and I get real practical about how to focus on the good. We’re not going to settle for just positive thinking. We’re going to choose productive thinking by learning to 4:8 our thoughts and by creating goodness grabbers.

How to 4:8 Your Thoughts

We can all spy something “good” or “lovely” or “true” by applying some Philippians 4:8 to whatever we face. Here are eight things from this verse that we can dwell on.

1. Dwell on what is true. If something is true, it corresponds with ultimate reality. God is the ultimate reality (John 3:33, John 7:18), and His Word is truth. So, first and foremost, we filter everything through the pages of His Word. Is what you’re dwelling on true or false? Is it genuine or fake?
We can all spy something “good” or “lovely” or “true” by applying some Philippians 4:8 to whatever we face. [Click to Tweet]
2. Dwell on what is honorable. The word honorable means “that which inspires reverence or awe; dignified, worthy of respect.” Ask yourself: Are my thoughts honorable? Am I taking the high road here? What is honorable about this? If it’s not honorable, don’t dwell on it.
3. Dwell on what is right. The word right is used of God and denotes righteousness. Is what you’re thinking right? Or righteous? Is your focus helping you to think higher and bring out God’s character in you?
4. Dwell on what is pure. You can’t separate this word from moral purity and sexual purity. So consider: Are my thoughts pure? How can I find something pure to dwell on? When you’re not dwelling on what is pure, it’s like focusing on the spot of dirt rather than the clean around it.
5. Dwell on what is lovely. Lovely means what is pleasing, agreeable, or attractive. Sometimes a situation isn’t inherently lovely. But, when Christ is with you, you can always focus on Him. You can make your thoughts lovely. So, if it’s a bad day or a bad situation, ask yourself: Are my thoughts lovely? If not, is there something lovely I can think about? Can I dwell on something lovely right now?
6. Dwell on what is of good repute. Repute means of high esteem. If we can’t think on anything good, then we need to think about something else! There is always something you can think of that is worthy of regard or esteem.
7. Dwell on what is excellent. This is similar to virtue. Meaning, keep yourself focused on all that is virtuous and promotes virtue. The rest—forget it!
8. Dwell on what is worthy of praise. This Greek word for praise is used both about God and about people. In Scripture, all God is and does is worthy of praise, so we focus on that. But, it also means that we focus on the strengths of another. We note and notice their good qualities. We are appreciative and affirming to people rather than negative and critical.

How to Create Goodness Grabbers

You can also create “Goodness Grabbers” or word magnets that attract the good in any situation. Here are some I’ve learned to say:

• When things just aren’t going well and don’t seem to be getting better, I say … “It could be worse.”
• When I’m asked to do something and, after I’ve said yes, I feel a big “uh oh, why didn’t I say no,” I say … “I don’t have to do this, I get to.”
• When I feel the pinch of giving more time or money or effort, I say … “Generosity is never a bad choice.”
• When blindness is wearing me out and I feel the big urge to quit, I say … “Earth is short and Heaven is long.”
• When something I face feels bigger than me and beyond my ability or experience, I say … “It’s not a challenge, it’s an adventure.”

You get the idea! Goodness grabbers can help strip the destructive power from a difficult situation and infuse you with a hopeful perspective instead.

If you don’t have any, create some for yourself. Write them down and keep them on your fridge or dashboard so you can begin the habit of grabbing good.

Sister, no matter what situation you face, you can focus on the good even when life seems bad, through Christ who strengthens you!

Related Resources

Free Downloads

• Philippians 4:8 Lock Screen
• “Earth Is Short, Heaven Is Long” Printable

Books and Bible Studies by Jennifer Rothschild

• Me, Myself, & Lies: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself
• Me, Myself, & Lies for Young Women: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself
• Me, Myself, & Lies: A Thought Closet Makeover Bible Study

Blog Posts

• This One Change Can Make Your Bad Days Better
• How to 4:8 Your Thoughts
• The Strength You Need for the Words You Say

Jennifer’s “Stuff I Love”

• Talking Color Detector

Stay Connected

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe to the 4:13 Podcast here.
• Were you encouraged by this podcast? Reviews help the 4:13 Podcast reach more women with the “I can” message. Click here to leave a review on iTunes.

What is one Goodness Grabber you can create today?

When my son, Connor, was little, he had a new balloon which he insisted on taking outside.

“Connor,” I told him, “if we take the balloon out in the backyard it will probably pop.”

But he would not relent, so out we went.

He swept the brightly colored balloon up into the air, and it slowly glided downward. He caught it and repeated the motion several times.

Up, down. Up, down.

Eventually, the balloon lifted and dropped earthward for its final descent. But, this time, Connor didn’t catch it.

Pop!

Bits of wrinkly rubber dotted the grass. With stunning composure, Connor gathered the tattered pieces in his chubby hands and ran toward me.

“Mommy,” he said, “fix it!” But, the reality was that I couldn’t fix his balloon.

Sometimes, like Connor’s balloon, you and I face hard realities we can’t fix. We are stuck with disappointment. A relationship ends. A dream dies. Our health fails. The job changes. The money runs out.

But, sister, no matter what loss you’ve experienced, disappointment is not the boss of you. It does not have to color your days, dictate your moods, or determine your future. Because God is with you, you can get through disappointment with hope.

On this episode of the 4:13 Podcast, KC and I talk about how you can take your disappointment and turn it into a stepping stone to hope. You will find inspiration from a woman who lived with disappointment for over 80 years.

But, we don’t stop there! You will also discover how you can become your own counselor and do some hope coaching with these three hope-filled confessions.

3 Confessions to Hang Your Hope On

1. Tell yourself, “It is what it is!” In other words, accept it. A mature person doesn’t waste emotional and mental energy focusing on what should have happened. When you dig your heels in with the “should” and “ought to,” you create a pit that only deepens and confirms your disappointment. But, when you accept a fact, you create a path to move forward on. You are willing to live in the “what is” that God has allowed for now rather than pining away with the “what ifs.”
2. Tell yourself, “You won’t always feel this way.” When life hands you a big disappointment, the sadness, fear, grief, or whatever the emotion is feels so intense. But, this feeling of disappointment is a snapshot. It’s not the whole photo album of your life. When you recognize that you won’t always feel the depth of emotion you feel at first, you gain perspective. Hope will heal you. You may have a scar, but you won’t have the same intense pain.
3. Tell yourself, “Something new or better is around the corner.” The hardest thing is your situation may never actually change. It is difficult to imagine that anything good can come from what feels so bad. But, the truth is that when you trust God, you don’t go backward. You only move forward with Him. And, as you do, you become better equipped, more empathetic, and more expectant for what God will do next. Life may not look like you expect or want, but sometimes the thing that disappoints you the most is the thing God uses to position you for a deeper relationship with Him.

It is through Christ’s power that you can face life’s disappointments and come out on top. His power in you can make you strong and help you access hope.

No matter what, sister, you can get through disappointment with hope through Christ who strengthens you!

“Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who is given to us” (Romans 5:5).

Related Resources

Free Download

• Hope Holders: 3 Confessions to Hang Your Hope On When You’re Disappointed

Books by Jennifer Rothschild

• Me, Myself, and Lies: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself
• Lessons I Learned in the Dark: Steps to Walking by Faith, Not by Sight

Blog Posts

• 3 Things to Tell Yourself When You’re Disappointed
• Disappointment Is Not the Boss of You

Links Mentioned in This Episode

• Hope Heals: A True Story of Overwhelming Loss and Overcoming Love by Katherine and Jay Wolf

Jennifer’s “Stuff I Love”

• TACH luggage

Stay Connected

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe to the 4:13 Podcast here.
• Were you encouraged by this podcast? Reviews help the 4:13 Podcast reach more women with the “I can” message. Click here to leave a review on iTunes.

Today, what is one way you will hold onto hope in the midst of a disappointment you face?

I used to have a guide dog named William. And, one Sunday morning, after I’d had William for several months, we sat attentively in my Bible study group.

Well, at least … I sat attentively … kind of.

It was awfully hard because William’s attention was riveted by a grasshopper that had made its way into our room via an open door.

William was determined to catch that critter—even if he had to knock over a stack of Bibles and three Baptists in the process! He slapped his paws forward and jerked his head in pursuit.

I, of course, was holding him on a leash and could feel his every move. With each muscle twitch, I pulled the leash a little more firmly.

Well, the tension in the room and the tension in the leash gave all at once as William defied gravity and all seventy pounds of him pounced on the grasshopper.

The Bible teacher recoiled as William surged. My husband, Phil, yanked on the mischievous mutt’s leash, and everyone laughed.

Everyone but me, that is.

My friend, Lori, who was sitting next to me, knew exactly why I wasn’t laughing, and she instinctively rose with me. We excused ourselves, leaving William with the class in the hope that he would “get some religion.”

You see, in the months after William and I got home from the dog school, things hadn’t gone as well as I had hoped. We had a bit of a rocky start to our relationship.

Just a few weeks earlier at the mall, he relieved his bladder right in front of Petite Sophisticates. It was a mess! I didn’t even know it was happening until some man graphically described it to me. Then I had to somehow manage to maintain my dignity while I cleaned up the mess. Believe me, at that moment, this petite did not look or feel very sophisticated!

Lots of situations like that over the previous months had made me feel like giving up trying to use a guide dog, and it all came to a head that Sunday.

As soon as Lori and I entered the ladies’ room, I burst into tears.

“It’s just not working,” I cried. “This is more of a liability than an asset. I’ve never wanted to quit so badly before, but—I don’t know if I should.”

We all feel the urge to quit, throw in the towel, or just give up from time to time, don’t we? Maybe today you feel overwhelmed and like you are just not up for one more task, one more smile, or one more issue.

But what if I told you that you can rest? Sister, you can!

On this episode of the 4:13 Podcast, KC and I share the acronym R.E.S.T. Each letter stands for a daily choice you can make that’s based on Scripture and will give you the strength to hang on when you want to let go.

4 Choices to R.E.S.T.

1. Remain. The first way to hang in there and stay strong is to remain in Christ (John 15:4). Jesus is your life source. When you are connected to Him, His presence energizes you. He gives you the energy, motivation, and strength you need. When you remain in Him, your perspective changes and your power grows.
2. Endure. Endurance isn’t passive. It is active perseverance. When you endure, you refuse to give in or give up too soon. When you endure, you look like Jesus. “For the joy set before Jesus, He endured the cross” (Hebrews 12:1, 2). So, for the joy set before you, endure. Don’t quit yet.
3. Seek. When I feel overwhelmed, I start seeking a way out! I look to remedy all that is making me crazy. Maybe you do too. But, when we seek God first, we find that His grace washes over us, changes our perspective, and buoys us (Matthew 6:33). When we seek Him first, the other stuff is either added to us or it matters less to us. So, if you’re barely hanging on, don’t seek a solution—seek God first.
4. Trust. Trust is a transfer you make in your heart. You transfer the ultimate responsibility for, and authority of, your life from yourself to God (Proverbs 3:5-6). That means you trust that God’s power is bigger than your problems. Even if you feel like you’re barely holding on, hold onto Him with a feeble fist full of faith and He will never, never, ever let you go!

So, if you feel like you are about to lose your grip, R.E.S.T. in God’s hands. He will carry you and give you rest. You can do this because you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.

Related Resources

Free Downloads

• “Earth is Short, Heaven Is Long” Printable

Books by Jennifer Rothschild

• Lessons I Learned in the Dark: Steps to Walking by Faith, Not by Sight
• Me, Myself, & Lies: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself

Blog Posts

• What You Weave Is What You Leave
• How to Face the Day When You Want to Turn Your Back On It
• Slow Down and Breathe: 4 Ways to Escape Your Revolving Door
• Ending the Struggle to Juggle
• What If Obedience Doesn’t Pay Off?
• The Story Behind My Book God Is Just Not Fair

Events with Jennifer Rothschild

• Fresh Grounded Faith Women’s Event

Links Mentioned in This Episode

• Cure: A Journey Into the Science of Mind Over Body by Jo Marchant

Stay Connected

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe to the 4:13 Podcast here.
• Were you encouraged by this podcast? Reviews help the 4:13 Podcast reach more women with the “I can” message. Click here to leave a review on iTunes.

What is one way you can rest today? Share in the comments below.

Years ago, when Phil was finishing up his Ph.D., we had a little money, a little time, and a little boy. All in all, it was really a happy season of life—with one little exception.

Actually, it wasn’t so little.

I was overwhelmed with stress and couldn’t figure out how to manage it.

Ever felt like that?

Oh, girl, I internalized everything. My weak survival skills showed up in things like constant illness and chronic aggravation. Rage simmered just below the surface of my placid demeanor.

One afternoon, Phil called from campus. I don’t even remember what he said or what he wanted, but I certainly remember my response. I remember yelling. I also remember slamming the phone down while he was mid-sentence.

I felt like a volcano must feel right before it erupts—hot, quivering, and rumbling from the roots. I was furious. My internalizing days were officially over and the angry birds were ready to fly.

With one completely abandoned and reckless move, I externalized in a big way. I swung my leg back and then forward, kicking the wall as hard as I could.

The pictures shook, and that made me feel some satisfaction. The things on the shelf all wobbled in mortal fear of my wrath, and that made me feel like I was proving my point.

Then … the wall crackled. I heard drywall falling and splintering off. I felt my foot woefully wedged within the wall while dust blew into my face.

I was stuck.

When I pulled my tennis shoe out, the hole only got bigger. Suddenly, I didn’t feel so good. I had damaged our rented apartment, and really, I had no excuse.

I had heard of the “count to ten” anger management rule. But I didn’t want to count. I wanted to explode. I had given full control to my anger, and it wasn’t a pretty sight.

Sister, you may have never kicked a hole in the wall as I did, but maybe you too have let anger control you.

Louis L’Amour, a Western novelist, once wrote, “Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before—it takes something from him.” I don’t want that to happen, and I doubt you do either.

That’s why KC and I are talking about how to find a better way to respond to anger on this episode of the 4:13 Podcast. We can’t always avoid feeling angry, but we can find ways to manage it. Here are five helpful methods I’ve learned.

5 Ways to Control Anger So It Doesn’t Control You

1. Be still, not speedy. When anger rises in you, stop and be still. Take a moment to quiet your heart. Being still doesn’t mean you are silent. Instead, it gives you a chance to align your spirit with God’s so you can speak the truth in love. Quieting yourself allows you to have control over your anger, rather than your anger having control over you.
2. Inspect, not invent. Sometimes we invent a problem that doesn’t even exist by assuming the worst or assigning meaning that doesn’t belong. When anger starts to rise, inspect the situation. Ask yourself:— Why am I angry?
   — Is my anger warranted?
   — Is my anger based on fact or speculation?
   — Am I assuming the worst about this situation or this person?

   If you take a breath and inspect the situation and your own heart, you will be less likely to invent a problem that doesn’t exist … or invent an even bigger problem than the one that already exists.

3. Respond, not react. Responses are most often based on thought, while reactions are usually based on emotion. A response tends to be other-centered, while a reaction tends to be self-centered. And—as we all know—when we’re mad, that emotion we’re feeling isn’t usually one that will lead to a mature reaction. So, when you start to fume, take that breath and count to ten. Be still and inspect so you can respond and not react.
4. Deal with it, don’t deny it. Some of us don’t deal with anger; instead we repress it. When you do this, it becomes just as destructive as if you’d exploded in a fury of emotion to everyone in earshot. It can morph into depression and grow into resentment. So, deal with your anger. Find a way to lovingly confront, wisely work things out, and forgive.
5. Sense, but don’t sin. To experience feelings of anger is not a sin. If it were, the Bible wouldn’t tell us to be angry and sin not. But we can feel anger in such a way that it turns to sin. Sometimes our anger even feels good. We coddle it, justify it, and feed it, causing it to grow until it devours people. Sense and feel anger, but don’t indulge it. Sin hurts you.

Sister, no matter how difficult it may seem at times to manage your anger, remember you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you!

Related Resources

Free Downloads

• Peace-Giving Promises – Scriptures to Help You Control Your Anger

Books and Bible Studies by Jennifer Rothschild

• God Is Just Not Fair
• Me, Myself, & Lies: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself
• Me, Myself, & Lies: A Thought Closet Makeover Bible Study

Blog Posts

• Be Still and Know That You’re Not God
• How to Put Out the Fire In Your Thought Closet
• 3 Steps to a Happier You
• 5 Ways to Handle Conflict With Grace
• The One Question I Am Asked Over and Over

Links Mentioned in This Episode

• Till We Have Faces: A Myth Retold by C.S. Lewis

Stay Connected

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe to the 4:13 Podcast here.
• Were you encouraged by this podcast? Reviews help the 4:13 Podcast reach more women with the “I can” message. Click here to leave a review on iTunes.

I’ve got two questions for you. First, which one of the five choices do you most need to make the next time you feel angry? (Mine is to be still.) And, like I asked you on the podcast, what is your favorite C.S. Lewis quote or book?

I had carved out time in the middle of a busy week to travel 30 minutes downtown to apply for a passport.

After waiting in a long line, I turned in my application and photo only to hear a lethargic and impatient clerk ask, “Where’s your birth certificate? You can’t get a passport without a birth cert—”

“Okay,” I said. “I’ll get it. I’ll come back.”

The clerk let out an apathetic groan and yelled, “Next.” He didn’t say it, but in my mind, I knew what he was thinking: Idiot.

So, as I rode home, that’s what I said to myself.

Idiot. Why didn’t you think of that? Now you have to come all the way back and see that unpleasant person again. Anybody knows you need a birth certificate. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.

Just as those wrong thoughts cascaded through my mind, I checked myself. I held my thoughts. And, as I did, I heard more clearly what I was saying.

That’s when I spoke truth to my soul instead.

Jennifer, I said firmly to myself, you are not an idiot. That was a lie. You’re just human, and humans make mistakes. I continued, Remember, Jennifer, you are the workmanship of God. He doesn’t make idiots.

I was still frustrated, still upset by my mistake, but I was no longer held captive by negative thoughts. Rather, I held those thoughts captive and made them agree with Truth.

Have you ever noticed what you say to yourself … and believe?

I could never do that.

She doesn’t like me.

Or, like me that day in the car, I am such an idiot!

You wouldn’t talk that way to anyone else, yet phrases like these flow through your mind leaving you feeling insecure and defeated.

Oh, sister, words matter.

The average woman uses approximately 25,000 words a day. That only includes the ones researchers can hear and record. As you know, we speak a heap more that no one but us ever hears. We speak those words in silence to ourselves, and we quickly stow them away in our “thought closets.”

So how do we know what belongs there?

On this episode of the 4:13 Podcast, KC and I help you get a handle on your negative self-talk. Now, this doesn’t mean you’re going to stop talking to yourself. Because, sister, you and I can’t avoid that! What it does mean is you’re going to learn how to speak Truth to yourself by using the 3 R’s of Self-Talk.

The 3 R’s of Self-Talk

1. Recognize. Start to recognize what you say to yourself. Ask yourself questions such as:

   — Would I speak this way to someone I love?
   — Would I write it down and give it to my kids for them to speak to their souls?
   — Would I talk that way to myself out loud in front of my pastor?
   — How would I feel if someone I admire heard what I said to myself?

2. Refuse. Once you realize what you are saying to yourself is untrue or unkind, then you refuse it entry. Imagine you have a thought closet and that thought closet has a door. Thoughts have to knock to get in. If it’s a lie, it isn’t allowed in. After all, a dirty shirt in a clean closet stinks up everything!
3. Replace. You then replace the lie with Truth. But, to do this, you need to know Truth. God’s Word is Truth. Read, meditate on, and speak God’s Truth to yourself.

John Stott put it this way:

Sow a thought, reap an action.
Sow an action, reap a habit.
Sow a habit, reap a character.
Sow a character, reap a destiny.

Sister, no matter what destructive talk knocks on the door of your thought closet, remember, you don’t have to answer. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you!

And, for all of you who want to see what the podcast closet looks like, here are the pictures I promised!

Related Resources

Free Downloads

• The Truth Challenge: 5 Days to Healthier Self-Talk
• “Let the Words” free CD single
• “Let the Words” free MP3 download

Books, Bible Studies, and Music by Jennifer Rothschild

• Me, Myself, & Lies: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself
• Me, Myself, & Lies for Young Women: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself
• Me, Myself, & Lies: A Thought Closet Makeover Bible Study
• Remember CD featuring the song, “Let the Words”

Blog Posts

• What Brave Women Say to Themselves
• 3 Things to Tell Yourself When You’re Disappointed
• 4 Strategies to Control Your Emotions So They Don’t Control You
• This One Change Can Make Your Bad Days Better

Links Mentioned in This Episode

• Prayers That Avail Much by Germaine Copeland

Stay Connected

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe to the 4:13 Podcast here.
• Were you encouraged by this podcast? Reviews help the 4:13 Podcast reach more women with the “I can” message. Click here to leave a review on iTunes.

What’s one Truth you plan to speak to yourself today? Share it in the comments and let’s encourage one another with what God says about us.

Ready? Here goes.

I have an obsession … with the burners on my stove. I’m driven to keep them spotless and gleaming.

Now that I own a gas stove, this dysfunctional issue may not require therapy, but it wasn’t always this way. I once hovered over the burners on my electric range—the pans, rims, and surface beneath were all targets of my compulsion.

Now, before you put me on your prayer list, let me explain.

For the first 13 years of marriage, Phil and I lived in homes with cooktops corroded by years of careless cooking and half-hearted cleaning. I valiantly scrubbed but to no avail. I replaced old burner pans with new ones, but I was never satisfied because under those gleaming burner pans lurked the grimy gunk from decades of apathy and neglect.

Then in 1999, we moved into a 20-year-old home with a 20-year-old stove. Oh, girl, thoughts about those burners filled me with dread. They probably hadn’t been cleaned since 1979!

I had a responsibility to my obsession—I mean, my family—so I lifted the coils to inspect. When I felt the rims, the pans, and the surface beneath, I was stunned.

They were spotless! There was another woman as obsessed as I was.

Sister, I was so grateful that I ended every cooking excursion by lifting the coils to clean them. I removed pans and decontaminated underneath each time, even when I only boiled water. (Okay, maybe I should be on your prayer list!)

I’ve learned something from my obsession, though.

Keeping something clean is easier when you tend to it daily.

The same is true with our thought closets.

Yep, between your pierced ears and beneath your colored hair, you have a thought closet. It is full of everything you say to yourself. And what you put in your thought closet is what you will wardrobe your life with. So, our thought closets need daily attention to keep them in the condition Christ intended.

God declares that all has become new (2 Corinthians 5:17)! That means the old, grimy gunk is gone and you are clean, renewed, and fresh.

Sometimes, though, our thought closets can get awfully cluttered. What God made “new” can become dingy and neglected. Oh, girl, when this happens, it’s easier to find ourselves struggling with self-loathing, negative attitudes, and accepting lies as truth.

So, how can we keep our thought closets new and clean? Here are two ways we can tend to them daily.

1. Talk Truth to Yourself

We must tell ourselves the truth about who we are and what we have in Christ. Scripture says that our newness comes with a beautiful life wardrobe.

• A new heart (Ezekiel 11:19).
• A new song (Psalm 40:3).
• New mercies (Lamentations 3:22-23).
• A new spirit (Romans 7:6).
• A new self (Ephesians 4:24).

Do you lack or have you neglected any of these “new” belongings?

If so, talk truth to yourself. Speak out loud to your soul statements that reinforce what God has given you: a new heart, a new song, a new soul, new mercies. That’s one way you can keep your thought closet new and clean.

2. Wake Up Your Soul

In Psalm 57:8, David told his soul to “awake” in the midst of his failures. The Hebrew word “awake” in used 65 times in the Old Testament. It means to rouse oneself, incite, or to stir up.

Sometimes we become sleepy and apathetic toward some of our poor choices and negative attitudes. Instead of keeping our eyes open to such things, we tend to neglect careful daily cleansing. We grow accustomed to the grimy buildup that coats the surface of our souls.

When we tell our souls to “awake,” as David did, we become alert to our own grim and are amazed by God’s grace.

To stay spiritually alert, we can’t have dimly lit thought closets. There’s too much risk for dirt to gather, and it won’t ever show up if it’s too dark in there. The light must be bright.

The light we need is God’s Word. When we read His Word, meditate on it, and memorize it, we flood our thought closet with truth to fight the lies.

Sister, let’s keep our thoughts closets new and clean by tending to them daily! When we do, we become the humble recipients of God’s amazing grace.

What truth from God’s Word are you going to speak out loud to yourself today?

Phil had told them I was blind and they were curious and asked lots of the usual questions like, “How do you ___?”(fill in the blank). There are a million “How do you do___? ” kinds of questions when you’re blind, but one young woman’s question totally blew me away — it was very revealing.

In broken, but very good English, she asked: “When you became blind, were you afraid people would be ashamed of you or your family would not love you?”
Talk about a surprising question! I have never been asked any question like that before, but I understood why she asked it.

The traditional Chinese term for disability is “canfei,” which means “handicap” and “useless,” or “canji,” which means “handicap” and “illness.” They also use the term “canji ren” to signify “handicapped” and “sick people.”

In many areas of China a disability is seen as punishment – either for the disabled person or their parents’ past life sins. In other words, blindness is something to be ashamed of. The stigma attached to a handicap was why the girl asked such a question. When she thought of blindness, she thought of shame, disgrace, uselessness and rejection.

I explained to her that blindness was not something to be ashamed of. I told her my family would never stop loving me for any reason, especially for something that I could not control or  change — like blindness. She listened intently, and I felt she was listening for more than just an answer. I sensed she was hoping to hear what her heart longed to — dared to — believe was true…

Acceptance can know no limit.

Shame doesn’t have to stick like a label.

Identity doesn’t depend on performance.

We didn’t speak the same language. We didn’t live in similar cultures, but we were searching for the same things. Our heart’s cry is the same… the cry of every human who has ever and will ever live:

Am I lovable no matter what?

Will you accept me even if…?

Is who I am good enough?

Am I still valuable if I am not “useful? “

The questions may be complicated and layered, but the answer is singular and simple — yes.

Through the ages the voice of God says “Yes.” Yes.

Yes, high achiever, you are lovable, no matter what.

Yes, university student, you are acceptable, even if you fail.

Yes, stay-at-home mom, who you are is good enough.

Yes, business professional, you are still valuable even if you are not “useful.”

Yes, physically challenged, your identity isn’t based on what you can or can’t do.

Yes… God labels you son or daughter, and no matter what, you are His.

If you ask Jesus how much He loves you, He opens His hands as wide as the cross and says, “This much.”

Whatever you fear today, lay it down at the cross. Let it fade under the shadow of God’s love for you.

Let his voice of love be the loudest one you hear today.

I have loved you with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3)

What shame or rejection or fear or lie do you need to leave at the foot of the cross today? Write it in the comments and then let God’s voice of love be loudest.

P.S. If you need to hear God’s voice of truth loudest — or if you know a woman or teen girl who does — my Me, Myself, & Lies book can give you practical tools.

It struck me that they were both miserable — not because of what they lacked, but because of what they had. One was married; she had a husband, security and companionship. The other was employed; she had a job which provided her security and income. Yet, both were miserable and discontent with the portion they had.

I’ve been there too. That’s probably why their conversation struck such a familiar tone with in me!  I often complain about what I have, overlooking the blessing it really is.

The women in the tea room, just like me, are a lot like the Israelites in the wilderness; or, as I like to call them, the “Miserable-ites!”

In Exodus 16:3 the Israelites were in the wilderness hungry and grumbly. Would that we have died by the Lord’s hand in Egypt, when we sat by pots of meat and ate bread till we were full.

God responded, saying, I will rain bread from heaven and the Israelites will go out and gather a day’s portion each day. (Exodus 16:4)

In other words, God provided them manna, but to the Israelites, that wasn’t good enough.

And the people of Israel also wept again and said, “Oh that we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we ate in Egypt that cost nothing, the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic. But now our strength is dried up, and there is nothing at all but this manna to look at.” (Numbers 11:4-6)

The Israelites kept on complaining  about the lack of meat. They complained they had nothing to eat but manna. It was as if they said, “God, we only have what you provided.”

How about you? Do you find yourself discontent and even miserable not because of what you lack, but because of what God has provided?

The Israelites were rescued from Egypt, daily provided for, yet utterly miserable. They were surrounded by God’s provision, but were miserable because they didn’t receive it. They may have physically digested it, but they didn’t take it in, acknowledge it for what it was — God’s kindness; His grace.

Lamentations 3:22-24 says, Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.’

When we “consume” the portion of grace God gives us, we will not be consumed by anything but gratefulness. I don’t know about you, but I want to focus on God’s provision, not the imperfection of others or the flavor of the manna He provides.

What “manna” are you thanking the Lord for today? Please share it in the comments below.

Am I sharing your testimony?

Sometimes we just need to deal with those issues — you know, get some rest, amp up our healthy food choices, take a mental break or just spend some time with the Lord. Sometimes that is what it takes to feel more stable and capable of dealing with the demands of our lives. But sometimes, no matter what we try to do, we can just feel down. In despair. Hopeless.

That’s when God gave me a simple verse with a powerful truth.

Why are you in despair my soul? Hope in God. (Psalm 42:05)

Girl, I began to speak hope to my soul. I asked my soul why I was in despair and when I really thought about it, my reasons for hopelessness were not nearly as strong as my reason to have hope.

Maybe you need to speak hope to your soul too? Hope is a choice. It might have feelings that accompany it, but hope is not a feeling. It’s a decision that allows us to be steady and sure. It anchors us to something greater than ourselves — and  all our changing situations and emotions.

When we are confronted with a circumstance that challenges us, we have two choices. We can say to our souls, “Soul, you might as well get depressed, fall into despair, and give in to your worst impulse.” Or we can say to our souls, “Soul, you might as well have hope, believe in something good happening, and place your expectation in the goodness of God.”

That’s what the psalmist did. He attached his hope in God to a promise from God. He asked, “Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me?” Then he told his soul, “Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence” (Psalm 42:5 NASB).

He reminded his soul that the help of God’s presence was a guarantee. And that left him with no reason to lose hope. The promise  of God’s help and presence is for you too, my friend.

God will be your help, no matter what you are going through and no matter how you feel right now. You, too, will bust out in praise to your God because He will bring you through this. He will be the “help of your countenance.”

In other words, He will put a smile back on your pretty face and remind you of His goodness.

What have you said to your soul lately? When you feel downright worn out and run down or when disappointment happens, avoid the self-sabotage of telling yourself it will never change and you will always feel this way.

Oh girl, do not speak despair to your soul!

Do something different. Ask your soul why you are in this state. Then change what you can but most of all, tell your soul to choose hope.

That’s what my sweet southern grandma used to tell me every time I visited her. “Mama” taught me a lot through her words and her life. I giggle now at that stern admonishment. As a little girl I vowed I would never watch one — even though I had no idea what in the world a “so-popper” was.

Now, be aware that each time my petite Mama preached her anti-so-popper doctrine; she was sipping a Coca-Cola and her eyes were glued to Days of our Lives or All My Children.

It was not until I was a young adult that I finally realized what she was actually warning me against. The words “soap operas” had gotten lost in her thick as sweet-southern-molasses Georgia accent. While that is actually really good advice from my grandmother, even greater wisdom comes from her favorite Psalm. She quoted it to me often. (Just not during the soaps!)

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. (Psalm 19:14, KJV)

Yep, she quoted it in full King James version with a little deep south mixed in! My precious Mama knew the power of words, and she wanted her granddaughter to know that power also.

Do you ever think about the power of words? Of your words? The words you speak to yourself?

The words of our mouths and the meditations of our hearts are the stuff of our self-talk. The words we speak are not only spoken out loud to others, they often are spoken to ourselves. You know, “You are such an idiot!” or “You can’t do anything right.” Ugh. Those words are ugly and powerful — they damage our souls.

So, how do you do that? God tells us how in Psalm 19:14. He shows us the standard of our self-talk and the source too.

(If you need help with memorizing this verse, here’s a song I wrote that has helped me!)

The Standard: our standard for what we should say to ourselves is what is acceptable to Him. Sometimes what we accept as permissible when it comes to our self-talk is based on bad habits and low self esteem. God is your Father who loves you perfectly and He doesn’t want anyone talking trash about His daughters — and that includes what we say to and about ourselves. So, if what you say to yourself wouldn’t be acceptable to the God who created and loves you, don’t say it!

But, the best part is that God not only sets the standard, He is the source of our self-talk.

Oh, and remember — don’t watch so-poppers!

Can you think of someone who might need this reminder today? Please tag (and encourage!) her in the comments below.

P.S. If this message of soul-talk resonates with you, my book Me, Myself, & Lies shares more about what to say when you talk to yourself.