If there is one question that I have been asked over and over since I became blind, it is some version of this:
“Were you angry at God?” or, “How did you get over your anger toward God?”
I’ve been asked this so many times by so many different kinds of folks that I started to get paranoid!
Should I be angry?
Am I enlightened enough to be angry?
Why the heck am I content anyway?
Is something wrong with me?
Honestly, I have really thought hard about this.
In fact, having been asked about it so many times, I think maybe I should be angry.
But the truth is, I can’t remember ever feeling angry toward God. Frustrated, yes! Sad, yes. Hopeless at times, yes. Confused, yes. But, angry? No. Believe me, I have tried. I was a psychology major, for heaven’s sake! I am forever searching for some dark mystery or malady within me.
Is it denial? Have I suppressed, regressed, transferred, repressed, or digressed?
In all my painful self-evaluation, I think I have found the reason I am not angry at God. And, the diagnosis cannot be found in any psychology textbook. And, it’s not because I’m some superhero Christian, or perfect Pollyanna, who walks around singing hymns and polishing my halo!
The reason may be a little more selfish…
I am not angry with God because I need Him too much.
Yes, put simply, I need Him.
Call it self-preservation or call it faith… I am not so sure that it isn’t a little bit of both. I don’t resent Him — I love him… and I really need Him. He is my only source for true peace and hope. I would injure myself by choosing to blame Him or holding a grudge against Him that could create a separation between us.
I can be blind with God, but there is no way I can be blind without Him.
When my posture is trust toward Him rather than anger against Him, I find Him trustworthy and good. When I find Him good, my natural response is to thank Him rather than resent Him.
You need Him too.
You don’t want to do life without His constant companionship and grace.
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Gratitude can break any chains of resentment that may be binding you to sorrow, bitterness, or anger. Your difficulty can be hard enough, but the resentment you drag along with it can be even more debilitating than the difficulty itself.
You may have the right to be angry…
… but you also have an opportunity to be grateful. Can you find one thing to be grateful for in whatever difficult situation you are dealing with today?
You can choose bitterness, or you can choose gratefulness. Which choice will bring you greater peace?
Oh sister, gratitude to God, for whatever He allows, honors Him. And, whatever honors Him blesses you.
So go for it!
Even through your tears, hurt, and frustration, give thanks in all circumstances! (I Thessalonians 5:18)
In the comments below, tell us one thing you are grateful for even in your hard situation.