My Assistant Angela came into my office crying. I immediately stood from my desk and hugged her, “whatever it is, it will be okay. Whatever it is, you will be okay.” I expected some terrible personal crisis had arisen; I was ready to be the consoling counselor. “I need to resign; I’m going back to school.”
Suddenly, I was the one with a personal crisis! I needed her to hug me and tell me, “whatever it is, it will be okay.” Happy for her but unhappy for me, I now had to deal with my own disappointment.
So, how do you become your own consoling counselor when life hands you a big disappointment?
1. Tell yourself “it is what it is!” In other words, accept it.
You may not like a circumstance, but a mature person doesn’t waste emotional and mental energy focusing on what should have happened or what you wish things were like. Acceptance doesn’t mean you like the situation, it just means you are willing to live in the “what is” rather than pining away with the “ifs.”
2. Tell yourself, “You won’t always feel this way.”
At first, I just focused on how happy I was for Angela and her future. After that, my mind reeled with the “what am I going to do” kinds of questions. I then thought about how much I would miss her and what a great assistant she was. Well, after that, I was just plain bummed! Disappointed!
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
Disappointment is a snap shot though. It’s not the whole photo album of your life!
When you can recognize that you won’t always feel the intensity of disappointment, it grants you perspective. Just as a wound hurts most at its initial infliction, so does disappointment. Then, just as a wound heals and hurts less and less, so does disappointment. Scripture tells us God makes all things beautiful in His time. (Ecclesiastics 3:11) He does so hold on.
3. Tell yourself, “Something new or better is around the corner.”
When we trust God, we don’t go backward. We only move forward with Him. So what seems like a setback can really be the perfect position from which you can move forward in a new way.
Scripture teaches we go from Glory to glory, strength to strength. As you move forward, you will be better equipped, more empathetic and expectant for what God will do next.
So, when disappointment arrives, become your own counselor…but, please don’t charge yourself for your services. One of the perks of healthy self talk is that it’s free!
Got any other suggestions of things to say to yourself when you’re disappointed? Leave a comment here.