How to Fight the Expectation Temptation

Anyone out there ever feel like you just can’t meet everyone’s expectations? Anyone? Oh girl, I do.

We can get pretty stressed out when we feel like we fail to meet other’s expectations for us…

We can’t volunteer for that fund raiser. We don’t call or write that loved one as often as we should. We can’t keep the house clean enough, or the fridge full enough, or the calender empty enough! The list goes on and on.

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Expectations come in many forms, but one thing they have in common is how we feel when we don’t meet them… downright lousy!

If you feel like you aren’t meeting expectations, here are three ways to handle it:

1.  Get the Facts

Feeling like you don’t meet expectations is not always the same as failing to meet expectations.

Here’s what I mean. Feelings are not always fact. You may feel like you aren’t meeting expectations, but is that feeling based on fact? Ask those whom you trust… Am I meeting your expectation? Get the facts. And, then base your feelings on facts.

Feelings are not facts. Feeling like you don’t meet expectations is not always the same as failing to meet expectations.
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Once you get the facts and, if the fact is that you aren’t meeting expectations, you can encourage the people you value to adjust their expectations, or you can make a thoughtful choice to meet their expectations.

Often we get so caught up in feeling like we aren’t meeting expectations that we run on emotional default mode. We just assume we are blowing it. But, in reality, you may be exceeding other’s expectations.

Get the facts so you can give yourself a break.

2. Prioritize

Discern whose expectations you should be meeting.

You can’t meet everyone’s expectations. Consider whose expectations you need to prioritize first.
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Everyone will love you and have a wonderful plan for your life, but their plan may not be the best plan for you. What someone thinks is a good idea may not be the best reality for you. Consider whose expectations you need to prioritize first… your parents, spouse, friend, boss, God, or yourself?

Sometimes, we girls need to just recognize that we will disappoint someone… it’s inevitable! So, pray about your priorities and choose who you’ll help learn how to handle not getting their way!

You can’t possibly meet everyone’s expectations, so choose whose you will and whose you won’t.

3. Be Realistic

Extend the same mercy and forgiveness to yourself that you do to others.

Extend the same mercy and forgiveness to yourself that you do to others. Give yourself grace.
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When someone doesn’t meet your expectations, do you fall apart, disown them, or decide your life is over?! Of course not. You understand that everyone has limits and no one is perfect. You have limits too and you are not perfect either. So, do your best, but give yourself grace.

Have realistic expectations for yourself regardless of what others may have for you.

Be real with yourself and with others.

Have realistic expectations for yourself. Be real with yourself and with others.
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When you’re real with yourself and with others, it will not only help you deal with expectations realistically, but it will also help someone else who may be struggling with the same thing.

So, when it comes to others expectations, Get the Facts, Prioritize, and Be Realistic.

Let’s be done with feeling down right lousy and feel down right liberated instead!

Question: Got any other ideas for managing other’s expectations? Share them with us please! I am sure we would all love to hear them.

Join the conversation in my JenniFriends Facebook group!