4:13 Podcast: Wisdom From the Front Porch

Jennifer Rothschild: All right, I'm on the front porch. We're sitting in two rockers. I'm with the woman who raised me, who made me the woman I am. And it's a beautiful sunny afternoon. There's a breeze. You're going to hear the traffic every now and then, the chirping of some birds. When the wind blows, you're going to hear wind chimes.

I wish you could see this, because my mother has one of the most beautiful, artistically designed front porch, back porch, garden, because everything you do, Mom, you do with beauty.

So if y'all don't know my mother, her name is Judith Jolly. She is a Floridian -- of how many generations? What generation are you?

Judith Jolly: Five.

Jennifer Rothschild: Fifth generation Floridian. Which is pretty remarkable if you know anything about Florida.

Judith Jolly: In Florida, yes.

Jennifer Rothschild: So we're sitting on the front porch, Mama, and I -- now we get to hear some sirens. I guess that's real life, isn't it, everybody?

Judith Jolly: It's real life.

Jennifer Rothschild: But let me ask you this. So I'm thinking over your life. Do you mind telling our friends how old you are?

Judith Jolly: I'm very proud.

Jennifer Rothschild: You should be.

Judith Jolly: Yeah. I'm 84.

Jennifer Rothschild: Eighty-four. And you would not know it looking at her. And she could outwork you. I don't know who you are and what you do, but I can just guarantee you this woman could outrun you.

And I remember, Mom -- weren't you 78 or 79 when you did splits on the beach?

Judith Jolly: Oh, that's right.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yes.

Judith Jolly: I forgot about that. Right.

Jennifer Rothschild: We were on the beach together.

Judith Jolly: Yeah. That was the last time I did a split, frankly.

Jennifer Rothschild: But it was quite impressive. What a way to finish.

Judith Jolly: I was impressed. Yeah, it was a good way to finish.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah. So that's what I'm saying, my friends, this lady is amazing.

Okay, so you've lived 84 years. Our world has changed so much in 84 years. And we didn't get to talk about this ahead of time --

Judith Jolly: No.

Jennifer Rothschild: -- so you don't need to have a great answer. But I'm curious, from the time you were a little girl to the time now, you are a seasoned woman. Has there been anything in your life that you have seen as far as inventions that you feel like has just made the biggest difference either in complicating our lives or simplifying our lives?

Judith Jolly: I think it would be technology.

Jennifer Rothschild: Ooh.

Judith Jolly: It was like a total absence of technology when I was growing up. We had clunky old cars, and stick shift only, and we walked different places. We did not rely on any kind of transportation. I grew up in Clearwater. The beach was I don't know how many miles away, but that's what I would do. I would walk to the beach on Saturday afternoons, and then I would walk back to town, and on occasion I would take a bus, a city bus, to get home.

Jennifer Rothschild: Wow.

Judith Jolly: So I've seen the -- I've just -- the world got faster and less personal. Easier in many ways, but harder in many because it separated people and -- I just love being part of the earth, so to speak.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah.

Judith Jolly: And then we began to rely on vehicles and cement and new highways and shopping plazas, the predecessors of the malls of yesteryear. Even the malls are not that popular now.

Jennifer Rothschild: No, you're right.

Judith Jolly: Shopping totally changed, this whole internet shopping.

Jennifer Rothschild: Oh, my gosh, yes.

Judith Jolly: Oh, my. Yeah. I mean, we would walk downtown to JCPenney -- that was the one department store in Clearwater --

Jennifer Rothschild: Wow.

Judith Jolly: -- and we would buy our school clothes. And so it was simple. That was simple.

Jennifer Rothschild: Was that back in the day, too, when they had candy counters --

Judith Jolly: Yeah.

Jennifer Rothschild: -- in department stores?

Judith Jolly: I love that. That was more fun. And even, Jennifer, when you came along and were a little girl, you loved the candy counters too.

Jennifer Rothschild: Well, I remember that. I remember getting those sliced jellied fruit slices.

Judith Jolly: Yes.

Jennifer Rothschild: Do you remember? Like orange, they looked like orange slices?

Judith Jolly: I know. You inherited that love from your dad.

Jennifer Rothschild: Is that what he liked?

Judith Jolly: Oh, oh, oh, he loved those. That was his favorite, yes.

Jennifer Rothschild: I think our whole family really has an affinity for sugar in almost any form.

So that's interesting, Mom. Because what I hear you say is in some ways it simplified our lives --

Judith Jolly: Yes.

Jennifer Rothschild: -- but in some ways it kind of diminished --

Judith Jolly: It's true. It took away a lot of the substance --

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah.

Judith Jolly: -- that we created ourselves, and then we began to rely on artificial things. Yeah.

Jennifer Rothschild: Did you have TV when you were a little girl?

Judith Jolly: Not until I was like -- I don't know. Was it like -- I was 14 maybe.

Jennifer Rothschild: Okay. Like, was that the late '50s or mid-'50s?

Judith Jolly: Mid. And the people behind us, the older couple, had a TV before we did. And in the evenings -- there was limited programming. It was black and white, obviously.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah.

Judith Jolly: And so we were permitted to go to their house, and that was -- they welcomed us. There were three of us, myself and my two sisters. And there was a program called Big Jon and Sparkie, and it was like this -- like an adventure thing.

Jennifer Rothschild: Oh, okay.

Judith Jolly: Oh, so Big Jon had a hat, a heavy hat, you know, the --

Jennifer Rothschild: Now, were these animated or were they real, like, actors?

Judith Jolly: Real. Real.

Jennifer Rothschild: Okay, actors.

Judith Jolly: It was like a predecessor to the one who would be my friend, whoever that was.

Jennifer Rothschild: Oh, yes.

Judith Jolly: Yeah. Okay.

Jennifer Rothschild: I know what you're talking about. Barney?

Judith Jolly: Yeah.

Jennifer Rothschild: Uh-huh.

Judith Jolly: So anyway, we would get to go over there, and it was about dinnertime. It was about 5:30 when that program came on, and they would be cooking cornbread in a cast iron pan.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah?

Judith Jolly: And it was on their stove. They had one of those potbelly stoves with the -- you know, the tube or the whatever that went up.

Jennifer Rothschild: The big pipe? Yeah.

Judith Jolly: Uh-huh.

Jennifer Rothschild: I don't know what it's called either.

Judith Jolly: And so not only did we get to see Big Jon and Sparkie, but we got to give -- we got to receive a piece of cornbread.

Jennifer Rothschild: Was it your family or your generation that would dip cornbread in buttermilk, or was that Dad?

Judith Jolly: That was Dad.

Jennifer Rothschild: 'Cause that does not sound good to me.

Judith Jolly: I thought -- I didn't like the idea of buttermilk, period.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah.

Judith Jolly: But Dad loved it. My mom and dad did as well.

Jennifer Rothschild: They did?

Judith Jolly: But I never did that. But your dad, yeah. And his family, they loved it. And Dad would even crumble the butter -- crumble the cornbread and put it in the buttermilk.

Jennifer Rothschild: Ooh.

Judith Jolly: Yeah, I thought that same thing. Ooh is right.

Jennifer Rothschild: Okay. So thinking of your life -- I will say this also. Last night we got to go for a walk, and I was so encouraged and, quite honestly, surprised by your community, your neighborhood. They would see you walking by, someone would come out and say hello and walk with you a few steps. And there were at one point four or five of us, and then it got down to two or three, and then we'd meet up with some more.

Judith Jolly: Yeah.

Jennifer Rothschild: Somehow you have been able to bring that sense of community and personal touch that may have been lost over this -- over the decades. You've brought it to this community.

Judith Jolly: Yeah.

Jennifer Rothschild: If you were helping somebody know how to do that, how have you done that? Because I really -- I'm not bragging because you're my mom, but I really have observed. You really are the one who kind of initiated all that. It was very obvious.

Judith Jolly: I think that's your word, initiate.

Jennifer Rothschild: Mm-hmm.

Judith Jolly: You have to -- you have to reach out to people, and you have to be genuine and you have to want to connect and know the people and --

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah.

Judith Jolly: So when you know their children, their families, their issues they face, and they begin to share more and more as time goes by and -- if somebody thinks you really care --

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah.

Judith Jolly: -- that's going to create the response that has made this community what it is. And it's wonderful because, you're right, as we walk, somebody will say, "Well, I gotta go now," and somebody else will pick up and walk with us. We laugh at who is the leader of the parade at any given time. And that includes dogs too.

Jennifer Rothschild: Oh, yes, that does include dogs.

Judith Jolly: We have two or three. We have Wyatt and we have Harley.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yes. Well, and I laughed too because I thought it was just a delightful picture of just who we should be as, like, the human family. I had a cane, Jim had a walker, you were holding the dog. You know, we had Les come over. Les grew up in the islands. I don't remember which one. But he has that beautiful island accent.

Judith Jolly: Yeah.

Jennifer Rothschild: All different parts of, you know, life and -- but we're all --

Judith Jolly: But we're all the same. We're all family.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yes.

Judith Jolly: We're all family. But you have to -- you have to make -- you have to take the first step.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah.

Judith Jolly: And people will surprise you. They will be so grateful and their response will be genuine and -- like, when we had a new family move in, I actually that afternoon, before they spent their first night, rang the doorbell. And I just simply said, "Hi. I live on the next street. I just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood." That was the beginning of what now is one of the loveliest relationships. The little boy now is five. And they walk and I walk with them.

Jennifer Rothschild: They all call you "Jolly."

Judith Jolly: They call me "Jolly."

Jennifer Rothschild: That's so sweet.

Judith Jolly: They're sweet.

Jennifer Rothschild: I think that's good, Mama, for us to hear, because this generation especially --

Judith Jolly: Yeah.

Jennifer Rothschild: -- they're so used to relating to each other through technology --

Judith Jolly: That's right.

Jennifer Rothschild: -- that they're shy and uncomfortable doing it in person.

Judith Jolly: Exactly.

Jennifer Rothschild: And what you're saying is you just initiate.

Judith Jolly: You just have to do it.

Jennifer Rothschild: Just do it. Just do it.

Judith Jolly: Yeah. Because I am not naturally that way, I don't -- I think I am now. But, no, I was never that way. I would be hesitant. But now I've just seen it work.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah.

Judith Jolly: And I love it. It's the most rewarding and wonderful experience.

Jennifer Rothschild: It's beautiful to watch.

Judith Jolly: Truly.

Jennifer Rothschild: And it is, it is just so -- it reminds me of what life is supposed to be.

So I think that's really special that you have lived a lifetime, started out with just the beautifulness of the simplicity of community. You've worked through the complexity that came from the convenience --

Judith Jolly: That's right.

Jennifer Rothschild: -- right?

Judith Jolly: That's right.

Jennifer Rothschild: And then you brought it back full circle --

Judith Jolly: I know.

Jennifer Rothschild: -- to being able to experience both just for the -- the best parts of both. The best parts of technology -- 'cause can we be honest? You know, air conditioning is one of them.

Judith Jolly: Absolutely, yeah.

Jennifer Rothschild: But then you don't isolate. You get out there with your people.

Judith Jolly: No, no, no, no. You have to.

Jennifer Rothschild: That's beautiful.

Judith Jolly: Yeah. You just have to go beyond yourself or outside of yourself and think of others. Really think of others first.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah.

Judith Jolly: Yeah. And it's just a wonderful thing. I love it. I love the people.

Jennifer Rothschild: They love you.

Jennifer Rothschild: We're back out on the porch again in the rockers, and at this time so far no sirens. I'm out here with my mom. That was such a great conversation last time, Mom. And so when we finished -- of course, the great thing about great conversations, why we should have them, they don't just answer questions and satisfy curiosity, they create more questions and they help stir up our curiosity --

Judith Jolly: True.

Jennifer Rothschild: -- right?

Judith Jolly: True, true.

Jennifer Rothschild: When we finished talking, I thought of a few more questions that I would be curious about. So to review, you're 84 years old?

Judith Jolly: Right.

Jennifer Rothschild: You've lived a long time. You've seen many decades. So you were born in what, '42?

Judith Jolly: Yes, yes.

Jennifer Rothschild: All right. Wow. We are living in a time right now where the world events seem -- because I think of access of media, we're very aware of everything quickly. Way too quickly, right?

Judith Jolly: Exactly, yes.

Jennifer Rothschild: But you've lived these many decades. Is there a world event -- I'm curious about -- that comes to your mind quickly that you feel like shaped you or impacted you or the world around us? You know, you got a lot to choose from, and you may not even have just one for that reason. But is there any world event that comes to mind?

Judith Jolly: I was not aware of it, obviously, but I really believe it was World War II. And my dad served in the Pacific. My mom had to move back home to her parents' home with me as a two-year-old. And it brought out the best. I mean, it was a terrible time, but it brought out the best in people. I saw loyalty and bravery, courage, patriotism --

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah.

Judith Jolly: -- sacrifice. I saw all those things. And I believe that's where I found a lot of the foundational -- what do I want to say? The foundational parts of my life.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah. Like the values?

Judith Jolly: The values. The values, exactly. You did the right thing because it was the right thing to do. And if there was sacrifice, the reason was right and you just did it anyway. You dealt with the loss of that, and you dealt with the gratitude that came when the war ended.

I remember that. My mother drove to Jacksonville, and I was the little kid that was sitting in that old Ford in the front seat with her. We had no air conditioning. I can't remember. Was it August? But it was hot, I remember that. And so in that old Ford, the windows were down and it was hot, but we got there. She was so thrilled to see my dad, and he came running out.

And I as a child, I saw that too. I saw the fidelity and the love of family. And she had me with her, and my little sister, who was then like a baby. And we all went as -- we were together as family again. The gratitude we had, it just created something very beautiful. It taught me a lesson that I didn't know I was learning.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah. Because you saw it modeled, didn't you?

Judith Jolly: That's -- oh, that's exactly right. So that would be probably -- though I did not realize it was teaching me the lesson, that would be something that shaped my world.

Jennifer Rothschild: It did. It shaped that generation, didn't it?

Judith Jolly: Oh, oh so -- and truly they really were the greatest generation for those qualities.

Jennifer Rothschild: I agree with you, Mom.

And, you know, you said something in explaining that, that whatever the right -- you did something because it was the right thing to do, something like that that you said.

Judith Jolly: Yeah, right.

Jennifer Rothschild: Which makes me wonder, has there ever been any kind of, you know, advice that you've been given, that someone has said to you over your many years, that you feel like has -- that you still remember today? You know, that was that significant or that rings true today still?

Judith Jolly: A couple of things. But the spiritual one is love one another. It is so simple.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah.

Judith Jolly: But that advice from Scripture --

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah.

Judith Jolly: -- has given my life the most meaning of all. So I'm grateful for that advice.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah.

Judith Jolly: And then always be sure you tell the truth and you won't ever have to try to remember what it was you said last. You can really get yourself in trouble. But if you don't make something up --

Jennifer Rothschild: Then you don't have to remember the lie.

Judith Jolly: -- you don't have to remember -- that's an easy thing, but that is very true.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah, it is true.

Judith Jolly: And to see the good in people. See the good in people, and value -- value your friends and value strangers, you know.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah. You know what? I just -- last year I did this book study with some younger women, and it was a book by Dorothy Sayers, and it was called "Are Women Human?" Okay. And she was a contemporary of C.S. Lewis --

Judith Jolly: Oh, okay.

Jennifer Rothschild: -- so this was back in the '20s, '30s, '40s --

Judith Jolly: Yeah, right.

Jennifer Rothschild: -- that she came of age. And her basic contention was, you know, that -- not are men and women equal, but are women human. And if so, then yes. You know, we're all -- we're all these -- created by God. And so what you were just saying reminded me of the takeaway that these young friends and I got from the book, which is all of us created in the image of God, we need to remain beautifully curious about each other --

Judith Jolly: I love that.

Jennifer Rothschild: -- because each of us are part of the beautiful inheritance we have.

Judith Jolly: Absolutely.

Jennifer Rothschild: That's who -- you know, I mean, you're my mom, but you're still part of my inheritance.

Judith Jolly: Yeah.

Jennifer Rothschild: And I get to be beautifully curious about you, and I gain from it. And that's what I hear you saying.

Judith Jolly: It's true.

Jennifer Rothschild: That you're loving and you're valuing not just the friends you have --

Judith Jolly: No.

Jennifer Rothschild: -- but the strangers you encounter.

Judith Jolly: That's right.

Jennifer Rothschild: They're all part of your inheritance.

Judith Jolly: Exactly. I learned a lot of that too as I did family history research. People I never knew who lived hundreds of years before me. But I saw the qualities in their lives and I realized I had inherited those qualities as well. Maybe I had not tapped into those, but I saw -- I saw courage and resilience and love and loyalty, the ability to adapt to change even though it was hard. I learned a lot from those I never knew but who went before me and were part of who I am.

Jennifer Rothschild: Which is a gift to us as your family, because we have such history now because you are quite a historian. And what our friends don't know is not only did you put that in writing, but you can remember 98% of it. It is amazing. Not only could you do splits on the beach in your late 70s, but at 84 you still remember so many details of that history. Which I think is not just because you're brilliant, I think it's because you value --

Judith Jolly: I love it. I just --

Jennifer Rothschild: -- these people. Yeah.

Judith Jolly: I do.

Jennifer Rothschild: You value them.

Judith Jolly: I can tell you their names and I can tell you when they lived and where and the history of their day.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah. That's beautiful, Mama.

Judith Jolly: Yeah.

Jennifer Rothschild: All right. So here you are now. We all get smarter the older we get. It's just so sad that when we're young, we don't know as much as we know --

Judith Jolly: That's true.

Jennifer Rothschild: -- when we're old, right?

Judith Jolly: That's true. You are so right.

Jennifer Rothschild: So if you were able to go back to Clearwater Beach and talk to 18-year-old Judy or 20-year-old Judy, or even 15-year-old Judy, is there anything you would say to her? You'd sit her down on the beach and you'd say, "Sweet girl, here's what I want you to know as you get older." What would you say to her?

Judith Jolly: I think I would probably say, Be yourself. Don't pretend. Be yourself. Be real. Be human. Truly love people. Value people. Value your friends, your family. But don't pretend. Be yourself. Be genuine.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah. There's a lot of joy and freedom there, isn't there?

Judith Jolly: Mm-hmm.

Jennifer Rothschild: And it takes courage. I think that's why it's hard when we're younger, you know?

Judith Jolly: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You're right. You're so right. And that's why we pretend. We think we need to hide who we really are because we're not good enough or somebody won't like us.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah.

Judith Jolly: We just -- we need to -- we need to be freer, freer to be ourselves.

Jennifer Rothschild: Well, speaking of freedom, so, Mom, when I get to heaven --

Judith Jolly: What?

Jennifer Rothschild: -- I am going to dance. I am going to dance, dance, dance, dance, dance all the time.

Judith Jolly: I love it. I love it.

Jennifer Rothschild: I'm curious, speaking of freedom, what is it you want to do when you get to heaven? Besides see Dad, of course.

Judith Jolly: Oh, my word. Dancing's not a bad idea. I did not dance, obviously, as the preacher's wife.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah?

Judith Jolly: I like dancing.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah?

Judith Jolly: Okay. So when I get to heaven, I would want to do what? Is that the question?

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah. What would you want to do that you haven't been able to do here on earth because the time passed and it was too late, or because your body didn't allow it or --

Judith Jolly: I would like to travel. I would love to travel.

Jennifer Rothschild: Okay.

Judith Jolly: I would like to see places in the world. And I would really start out in our country. I would like to do the rivers. I always wanted to do a river tour --

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah.

Judith Jolly: -- but -- and out west. I would love to see the mountains and snow on the mountains. And I loved the -- oh my word, Jennifer, in front of us is a huge black snake crawling across our sidewalk.

Jennifer Rothschild: No way! Oh. And then I just dropped my water bottle. Welcome to real life. Are we safe?

Judith Jolly: Yeah, we're safe. He's down there and we're up here.

Jennifer Rothschild: Okay.

Judith Jolly: But oh, my.

Jennifer Rothschild: Wow.

Judith Jolly: Yeah. And so -- you know, what is it called? The Grand Tetons --

Jennifer Rothschild: Oh, yes.

Judith Jolly: -- those huge trees? And then I love Central America. You know, we did the missionary work in Costa Rica.

Jennifer Rothschild: Right, in Costa Rica.

Judith Jolly: That was beautiful. It smells so pretty every day with the flowers.

So travel would be one thing I would like. I don't know how you travel all over heaven, but yeah, I would like to.

Jennifer Rothschild: Well, you know, I guess one day there will be a new heaven and a new earth --

Judith Jolly: There you go.

Jennifer Rothschild: -- and so it will be the most beautiful version of what we think is beautiful now. So I think there'll be lots of traveling to do. And when I'm not dancing, I'll travel with you.

Jennifer Rothschild: All right, you're back on the front porch with me and Mom. This is my beautiful mother, 84 years young, Judith Jolly. And the wind chimes are before us. The last time we sat out here, a big black snake crawled in front of us. And, y'all, you should -- I'm impressed with my mom's composure. You did a good job, Mom. But no snakes right now at least.

Judith Jolly: No, no -- that I see.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah. And may we not see them.

But a couple more questions for this wisdom on the front porch. We're sitting out here talking to each other and -- like, this is a privilege that I hope other people take advantage of. That they get somebody in their lives and they just sit down and they -- not just have a conversation, but even recording it. And one of the things I do, Mom, sometimes I will still call your house knowing -- just to hear Dad's voice on voicemail.

Judith Jolly: I know, I know, I know.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah. There's something about hearing the voices of people we love. So I encourage you to do that.

Judith Jolly: Absolutely.

Jennifer Rothschild: But let's say you had an opportunity -- it could be anyone in history in any time, this lifetime, ancient history. It could even be a fictitious character. Is there anyone -- if you could just sit down and have a conversation and just meet someone from history, can you think of anybody it would be? It could be man, woman, politics, actor, whatever. Anything? Anybody?

Judith Jolly: I have a family member, a great-grandmother that I would like to meet. Her name is Adeline. She lived during the Civil War. She is one that I so admire because of her resilience. The loss of a husband, a child, and a son in the war altogether within six months, and the survival of that lady and her resilience and her faith.

But if I chose a historical figure, a valid known historical figure, it would be Eleanor Roosevelt.

Jennifer Rothschild: Oh. Speaking of strong, right?

Judith Jolly: Absolutely. Absolutely. I would be curious how she -- how she became who she became.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah.

Judith Jolly: And what attracted her to her dear husband --

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah.

Judith Jolly: -- and how she dealt with his handicap with -- I think -- didn't they cover that forever?

Jennifer Rothschild: They kept it a secret forever. I don't know how.

Judith Jolly: Exactly.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah.

Judith Jolly: She was remarkably brilliant --

Jennifer Rothschild: Yes.

Judith Jolly: -- and she had her own opinions, and I think she really influenced him. She was a fair woman. I like that about her.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah.

Judith Jolly: She was not one that people would consider beautiful. To me she was beautiful because of the strength of her character --

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah.

Judith Jolly: -- and her commitment. And there I go with the word "loyalty" again. Her loyalty to her husband, it had -- and difficult. It had to be very difficult for her to put up with all of that. Obviously in politics, the criticism he would receive.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah.

Judith Jolly: But I just admired -- I admire her so much. It'd be fun just to sit here with the three of us.

Jennifer Rothschild: Wouldn't it?

Judith Jolly: Yeah.

Jennifer Rothschild: Well, we could invite Adeline, Eleanor Roosevelt, and you and me.

Judith Jolly: Okay.

Jennifer Rothschild: And they would learn a lot from us. I'm just kidding.

Judith Jolly: You're right.

Jennifer Rothschild: You know what? I think it was Eleanor Roosevelt -- I could be wrong. Or it could have been falsely attributed to her. But there was this quote one time I read --

Judith Jolly: About happy?

Jennifer Rothschild: No.

Judith Jolly: Okay, go ahead.

Jennifer Rothschild: You'll have to tell me what that is. Mine is about tea bags. She said women are like tea bags. The hotter the water gets, the stronger they get, something like that.

Judith Jolly: That's exactly right. I love that one.

Jennifer Rothschild: What's the happy one?

Judith Jolly: The happy one is you're going to be as happy as you decide you're going to be, period. Period. You're in charge of your life and your outlook and your happiness and your joy.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah. That's strong right there.

Judith Jolly: You're gonna be as happy as you determine you're gonna be.

Jennifer Rothschild: Well, you've lived like that, Mama. Yeah. In fact, we've had many morning phone calls or texts and you'll say, "I think I'll be happy today." You choose it. You do. You have lots of reasons to make it difficult.

Judith Jolly: Ooh, there goes the snake again.

Jennifer Rothschild: Oh, no. Tell me he's going the opposite direction of us.

Judith Jolly: He's going the opposite direction, yes. He's coming back out and going home, I guess.

Jennifer Rothschild: Ugh. Well, that's the problem --

Judith Jolly: He's raising his head. He's listening to us.

Jennifer Rothschild: Well, you're not welcome here. Slither away.

Judith Jolly: Okay.

Jennifer Rothschild: That's the problem with living in paradise with all this beauty.

Judith Jolly: You're right.

Jennifer Rothschild: I guess it happened in another garden sometime in the past, didn't it? There was a snake there too.

Judith Jolly: I think you're exactly right. The precedence is there.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah. Okay, Mama, one more question.

Judith Jolly: What?

Jennifer Rothschild: All right. Family legacy. We all have our own families. We all have our own family traditions and, you know, they change from generation to generation.

Judith Jolly: Yeah.

Jennifer Rothschild: But when you do pass from this life to the next and are whole and happy and reunited with Dad and seeing Jesus in heaven, what family tradition or legacy do you hope that me and Lawson and David and our families carry on?

Judith Jolly: Togetherness. Whenever you can, be together. Be family. Cherish one another. And then the thing that your Mama, your dad's mom, passed down was celebrate by putting a dime in a pound cake.

Jennifer Rothschild: That's right.

Judith Jolly: And whoever -- okay. So you bake the cake and then you put a tiny little knife place in and you -- you wrap a dime and you put that dime down in that little hole.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yes.

Judith Jolly: And then the tradition is whoever -- you know, then you slice the cake and everybody gets a random piece of cake. But whoever gets the dime wins a prize or you -- you're the one who is the blessed one of the family for a whole year. You get to be the winner of the dime in the pound cake.

Jennifer Rothschild: Oh, I remember that. I used to love that as a little girl.

Judith Jolly: I know. Well, and in the next generation, your children and your nieces and nephews, they've been the same way with it.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah. It's the neatest -- well, and speaking of, I don't know what I loved more, hoping to win the dime or eating your pound cake. That right there is one of the best pound cakes I've ever had in my whole life. I've never had a better one.

Judith Jolly: Well, and that was part of your grandmother -- your Mama's recipe collection. And she was a Southern cook.

Jennifer Rothschild: She was a --

Judith Jolly: Now, my mother made biscuits like nobody else could.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yes, she did.

Judith Jolly: But Mama did the pound cake.

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah, she did. And it was delicious. But the combination you couldn't get better than would be Sarah Berg's fried hush puppies --

Judith Jolly: Oh, my.

Jennifer Rothschild: -- and catfish and then follow it up with Mama's pound cake.

Judith Jolly: There you go.

Jennifer Rothschild: Mom, I have loved these conversations. And I have a feeling that the rest of my 4:13 family, the rest of my podcast family, has loved it too.

Judith Jolly: You know what? And you've got that bigger family too --

Jennifer Rothschild: Yeah.

Judith Jolly: -- and I think that's wonderful. And though I've never met y'all, I love you too.

Jennifer Rothschild: Aww. See why everybody loves her?

All right, Mama. Well, let's get out of here before the snake joins us up on the porch.