GIVEAWAY ALERT: You can win the book Make Up Your Mind by this week’s podcast guest. Keep reading to find out how!

Every day we fight battles in our minds, and most of the time, we’re not even aware of the real fight. So, we end up defeated.

We may not realize it’s our negative mindsets at the center of the battle that keep us bound in unhealthy habits and attitudes. But, what if we knew how to break free?

Well, I have good news, sister, because today on the podcast, author Denise Pass is showing us how to break away from those deceiving thought patterns. She’ll teach us the underlying root of common mental battles, expose key negative mindsets, and help us overcome them using Scripture as we develop the mind of Christ.

I’m telling you, my friend, Denise is so spot-on with this topic.

What we think matters, and we can become derailed by our own thoughts if we don’t take inventory of what’s in our mind and clean out our thought closet.

So, as we talk about Denise’s book, Make Up Your Mind: Unlock Your Thoughts, Transform Your Life, she shares how to become mindful of your thoughts and speak truth to your soul, which leads you to develop the mind of Christ.

And, sister, that’s the transformation we’re seeking through God’s Word. Christlikeness doesn’t just pertain to our actions, but our hearts and minds as well.

So, destructive thoughts and lies … be warned! You aren’t winning the battle in our minds any longer.

Meet Denise

Denise is a biblical mindset coach, author, speaker, worship leader, songwriter, and podcaster. She holds an MA in Biblical Exposition and is currently pursuing a Ph.D. in Biblical Exposition at Liberty University. Denise is the author of Make Up Your Mind, Shame Off You, and 31 Days of Hope Reinvented, and she’s also the creator of The Bible Tribe podcast. Denise homeschooled her five children, and she and her husband serve together at their church in Virginia where she is the Director of Family Ministries and Worship Arts.

The Truth Challenge

After listening to the podcast, I encourage you to take The Truth Challenge: 5 Days to Healthier Self-Talk! It’s a FREE resource to help you say goodbye to the lies that fill your mind and replace them with healthier self-talk rooted in biblical truth.

Accept the Challenge

[Listen to the podcast using the player above, or read the transcript below. Then check out the links below for more helpful resources.]

Related Resources

Giveaway

• You can win a copy of Denise’s book, Make Up Your Mind. Hurry—we’re picking a random winner on March 23! Enter on Instagram here.

Books & Bible Studies by Jennifer Rothschild

• Me, Myself, & Lies: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself
• Me, Myself, & Lies for Young Women: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself

More from Denise Pass

• Visit Denise’s website
• Make Up Your Mind: Unlock Your Thoughts, Transform Your Life
• Follow Denise on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram

Related Blog Posts

• Can I Get a Handle on My Negative Self-Talk? [Episode 3]
• Can I Get Unstuck From Old Thinking Patterns? With Allison Fallon [Episode 144]
• Shame Off You (post by Jennifer Rothschild)
• Letting Go of What You Thought for What Is True
• 2 Ways to Renew Your Mind Daily
• How to Put Out the Fire in Your Thought Closet

Stay Connected

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe to the 4:13 Podcast here.
• Were you encouraged by this podcast? Reviews help the 4:13 Podcast reach more women with the “I can” message. Click here to leave a review on iTunes.

Episode Transcript

I had carved out time in the middle of a busy week to travel 30 minutes downtown to apply for a passport.

After waiting in a long line, I turned in my application and photo only to hear a lethargic and impatient clerk ask, “Where’s your birth certificate? You can’t get a passport without a birth cert—”

“Okay,” I said. “I’ll get it. I’ll come back.”

The clerk let out an apathetic groan and yelled, “Next.” He didn’t say it, but in my mind, I knew what he was thinking: Idiot.

So, as I rode home, that’s what I said to myself.

Idiot. Why didn’t you think of that? Now you have to come all the way back and see that unpleasant person again. Anybody knows you need a birth certificate. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.

Just as those wrong thoughts cascaded through my mind, I checked myself. I held my thoughts. And, as I did, I heard more clearly what I was saying.

That’s when I spoke truth to my soul instead.

Jennifer, I said firmly to myself, you are not an idiot. That was a lie. You’re just human, and humans make mistakes. I continued, Remember, Jennifer, you are the workmanship of God. He doesn’t make idiots.

I was still frustrated, still upset by my mistake, but I was no longer held captive by negative thoughts. Rather, I held those thoughts captive and made them agree with Truth.

Have you ever noticed what you say to yourself … and believe?

I could never do that.

She doesn’t like me.

Or, like me that day in the car, I am such an idiot!

You wouldn’t talk that way to anyone else, yet phrases like these flow through your mind leaving you feeling insecure and defeated.

Oh, sister, words matter.

The average woman uses approximately 25,000 words a day. That only includes the ones researchers can hear and record. As you know, we speak a heap more that no one but us ever hears. We speak those words in silence to ourselves, and we quickly stow them away in our “thought closets.”

So how do we know what belongs there?

On this episode of the 4:13 Podcast, KC and I help you get a handle on your negative self-talk. Now, this doesn’t mean you’re going to stop talking to yourself. Because, sister, you and I can’t avoid that! What it does mean is you’re going to learn how to speak Truth to yourself by using the 3 R’s of Self-Talk.

The 3 R’s of Self-Talk

1. Recognize. Start to recognize what you say to yourself. Ask yourself questions such as:

   — Would I speak this way to someone I love?
   — Would I write it down and give it to my kids for them to speak to their souls?
   — Would I talk that way to myself out loud in front of my pastor?
   — How would I feel if someone I admire heard what I said to myself?

2. Refuse. Once you realize what you are saying to yourself is untrue or unkind, then you refuse it entry. Imagine you have a thought closet and that thought closet has a door. Thoughts have to knock to get in. If it’s a lie, it isn’t allowed in. After all, a dirty shirt in a clean closet stinks up everything!
3. Replace. You then replace the lie with Truth. But, to do this, you need to know Truth. God’s Word is Truth. Read, meditate on, and speak God’s Truth to yourself.

John Stott put it this way:

Sow a thought, reap an action.
Sow an action, reap a habit.
Sow a habit, reap a character.
Sow a character, reap a destiny.

Sister, no matter what destructive talk knocks on the door of your thought closet, remember, you don’t have to answer. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you!

And, for all of you who want to see what the podcast closet looks like, here are the pictures I promised!

Related Resources

Free Downloads

• The Truth Challenge: 5 Days to Healthier Self-Talk
• “Let the Words” free CD single
• “Let the Words” free MP3 download

Books, Bible Studies, and Music by Jennifer Rothschild

• Me, Myself, & Lies: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself
• Me, Myself, & Lies for Young Women: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself
• Me, Myself, & Lies: A Thought Closet Makeover Bible Study
• Remember CD featuring the song, “Let the Words”

Blog Posts

• What Brave Women Say to Themselves
• 3 Things to Tell Yourself When You’re Disappointed
• 4 Strategies to Control Your Emotions So They Don’t Control You
• This One Change Can Make Your Bad Days Better

Links Mentioned in This Episode

• Prayers That Avail Much by Germaine Copeland

Stay Connected

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe to the 4:13 Podcast here.
• Were you encouraged by this podcast? Reviews help the 4:13 Podcast reach more women with the “I can” message. Click here to leave a review on iTunes.

What’s one Truth you plan to speak to yourself today? Share it in the comments and let’s encourage one another with what God says about us.

That was my friend’s response to the hard place she and her husband had found themselves.

Her beloved mother had been in and out of institutions because of mental illness and now, they had to make a hard, soul-tearing decision about her guardianship.

For years, they rallied, they loved, they emptied their savings for the best treatment centers, and they fought, trusted, and never gave up hope. And, now they felt like they were giving up her mom to an uncertain future.

Yet, she finished her text to me with this: “We are trusting. Father knows and He is near.”

No matter how bleak things seemed or how shattered she felt, she—they—knew that God was with them and somehow, no matter how it looked, He was involved, in charge, and in control.

But, just because you trust completely doesn’t mean you won’t feel completely sad sometimes.

Sadness is emotional pain that comes from loss, despair, grief, sorrow, or helplessness.

There is no way to fix sadness. You can’t go to a happy theme park and ride rides and eat cotton candy to make the sadness go away. You can’t talk yourself out of sadness any better than you can talk yourself out of hunger—you just are.

So what do you do when you are just plain sad? If you can’t fix it, how do you feel it and still keep yourself above water, taking one breath at a time?

Here are six ways to overcome sadness so it doesn’t overcome you.

1. Cry

For some of us, this is the most natural response to sadness. For others, crying feels like weakness or vulnerability.

But, crying is healthy. Jesus cried when He stood before His friend Lazarus’ tomb. He was sad and He wept.

When we cry, we don’t repress our sadness because repression can lead to depression—all that sorrow has to go somewhere!

Some studies suggest that when you cry, your body relaxes and releases endorphins, which are a natural “feel-good” chemical in your body. God designed you with tear ducts for a reason, so let your tears help you heal.

2. Exercise

I know, I know, it’s the last thing on our minds when we just want to curl up on the couch and drown our sorrows in a gallon of Chunky Monkey ice cream! But, God created our bodies to have, and need, an escape valve for the pressure of sadness.

Exercise is a great way to release it. Not only does exercise release endorphins, which make us feel better, it also makes us focus on something other than our sadness while we’re working out.

So, if sadness is your constant companion, take it on a run or to an aerobics class. Chances are your sadness won’t be able to keep up and it will leave you alone while you sweat it out in the gym.

3. Smile

No, you aren’t being a fake if you smile even when you’re sad, you’re being smart. Smiling even when you are sad can help you feel better.

Not only has research shown that smiling helps, the opposite is true too—frowning makes your sadness worse. It’s so interesting that our face can inform how we feel, isn’t it?

So, if you’re sad, try smiling and see how you feel.

4. Listen to Music

Listening to music can help soothe and relax you. And, it can also shift your focus onto something more beautiful and higher than you.

For a believer in Christ, listening to music introduces a whole other layer of healing—you can listen to Scripture and God’s Word can fill your heart and heal your wounds.

And, when you listen to praise music and tune in your heart to the lyrics, you will experience God’s presence for He “inhabits the praise of His people” (Psalm 22:3).

5. Hang Out with Others

It’s often a natural response when we’re sad to isolate ourselves. You know, stay home, watch sad movies, thumb through the photos that represent your loss, sit on the couch, and ruminate. But, you don’t need to do all that alone! You need a buddy to hang out with.

I read some research that showed that interacting with loved ones can boost your body’s production of oxytocin. Oxytocin, known as the love or cuddle hormone, fires up all those feel-good behaviors and emotions that come with relationships and bonding. Studies show that retreating from others makes depression worse.

So, if you’re sad, don’t wait until you feel better to hang out with a friend. Hang out with a friend and see how it can make you feel better.

6. Still Your Soul

Take time to pray and meditate. When sadness is pressing in, invite God into your sadness. Pray to Him and meditate on comforting Scriptures because He hears and He cares.

God’s presence and His Word can answer your sadness with hope and comfort.

Often when we’re sad, we’re meditating on our loss, our sorrow, and how we wish things were different. Turning that pondering into prayer and transferring meditation on sorrow to meditating on God’s Word can lift your spirit and relieve some of your sadness.

My friend, sadness is just part of our human experience, but God has a hope and a future for all of us, and it is a future full of joy.

When sadness hits, hit back with these six strategies, but ultimately, trust God with your sadness. He not only prescribes, He IS the best medicine!

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” (Proverbs 17:22).

Any other strategies you use to help overcome sadness? Share them with us!

It revved and choked and whirred and roared and the lake started dancing! The waters lapped onto the shore and wave after wave swayed the dock so it rattled and squeaked.

As the water stirred, I listened and wondered how long it would last.

As I did, I thought how much I wished I could run down, sit on the edge of the dock, and feel the whirling waters tickle my ankles.

But I couldn’t. My physical blindness kept me stuck on the deck until someone was with me to make the quick jaunt down to the lake’s edge.

That’s when I thought of the man in the gospel of John.

He was paralyzed.

Every single day of his life, he was stuck on a mat right beside the pool of Bethesda. Back in his day, people believed that when the waters of the pool stirred, anyone who could get into the water would be healed. For 38 years, he sat by that water because he wanted to be healed.

And, then, Jesus stepped into this man’s bleak condition and asked, “Do you want to get well?”

“Huh?”

That response isn’t in the Bible but, sister, that is what I would have said!

“Huh? What do You mean, Jesus? Of course, I want to get well!”

Right?

When we are suffering through a bad situation, or just plain stuck, don’t we all want to get well? We want to be delivered. We want to be changed. Right?

Not always.

The paralyzed man didn’t say, “Yes.”

The paralyzed man didn’t even answer the question. Instead, he said:

“I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me” (John 5:7).

Now, I bet it was true—he probably couldn’t get into the water fast enough and others may have pushed him aside. But his response was not an answer … it was an excuse, and it revealed an even bigger problem.

Paralysis wasn’t his biggest problem, just like blindness is not my biggest problem.

Jesus’ question points to something in this man’s life that is far more debilitating than paralysis. It’s in my life, and it’s in yours too. It’s the bigger problem.

It’s the part of us that would rather blame, explain, and deflect than to actually be well.

The man at the pool gave an explanation for his situation rather than an answer to Jesus. He blamed others for why he was the way he was. Instead of just saying, “Yes, Lord, I want to be well,” he felt the need to say, “But Lord, this is why I am not well.”

We do the same thing.

Now, I’m not talking about true diseases like the Retinitis Pigmentosa that caused my blindness. I’m talking about the more serious disease that has nothing to do with blindness—the diseases of self-pity, anger, or resentment that can deeply debilitate me.

Sometimes we actually prefer our pain. We are so used to our weakness, our addiction, or our sin that we don’t really want to be well. We want an excuse to be who we are—stuck in our own weakness and paralyzed by our circumstances.

I think Jesus asks each of us, “Do you want to get well?” because often, healing involves choice.

Do you want to be free from your addiction? Do you want to be free from your anger? Do you want to be healed of your perfectionism, controlism, or selfishness?

Jesus told the paralyzed man, “Rise, pick up your mat and walk” (John 5:8), and the man did!

Jesus says the same to you. You can rise, pick up your sick mat, and walk in wellness!

To be well means you don’t blame or excuse your behavior.

To be well means you rise up from what has kept you bound.

To be well means you “pick up your sick mat” that you have rested on for years because you aren’t going to fall back on it anymore.

To be well means you walk away from excuses and instead choose to walk in truth.

To be well means you lean on Jesus when you’re weak rather than leaning on your old coping mechanisms and excuses.

To be well means you don’t hang out by a pool waiting for a wave to wash over you.

Instead, you immerse yourself in the Living Water and are washed and renewed by Him every moment of every day.

A dip in the pool was not the way to be well. Jesus is the way to wellness. And just like He stood before the paralyzed man and offered healing, He stands before you wherever you are and offers you the same: “Do you want to be well?” If so, “rise and walk” straight into the loving, forgiving, and grace-filled arms of Jesus!

Sister, sometimes we are stuck because we have chosen to be stuck. Often, Jesus offers us healing but we choose excuses instead.

So, if you are stuck in sin, pick up your mat, and walk away. Leave your excuses behind and choose grace instead.

In the comments, leave a prayer asking Jesus to help you rise from whatever is keeping you bound so you can walk in wellness today.

I blew out a frustrated breath and fumed about everything that was wrong with this airline. I just knew that the past 45 minutes would turn into another 45 minutes and then into four hours and five hours and then … deep breath … I’d miss my connection, be stuck in Chicago and, well, that’s enough. You get the idea. I was not a happy woman.

My stream of outrage was interrupted by the little girl’s sweet voice. “Daddy, I spy something blue.”

I knew her dad was as irritated as I was, but he tried to be cheerful, so he started guessing, “Is it that bug on your t-shirt?”

And so the game went through all the colors of the rainbow and then she said, “Daddy, I spy something good.”

Her dad chuckled.

I figured he laughed for the same reason I did. It was pretty hard to spy anything good in our current, caged predicament.

“Is it a bag of M&Ms?” the dad asked.

“No,” she said.

“Is it your new shoes or your sweet smile?”

They went on and on like this. Who knew there were so many possibilities for good things to be crammed into this stuffy, stationary piece of machinery that should have been soaring through the clouds?

I couldn’t help myself. I smiled. Listening to them pick out everything that was even remotely good helped this grumpy girl think twice about my attitude.

I realized I couldn’t spy anything good because I wasn’t looking for it.

So I decided I would try to spy something good too. But, to see something good in bad situations you’ve gotta look beyond your circumstance. You’ve gotta look through the 4:8 filter!

Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

We can all spy something “good” or “lovely” or “true” by applying some 4:8 to whatever we face. We may not be able to remove the bad, but when we apply some 4:8, we will renew our minds.

Everything changes when we decide to dwell on only what meets the 4:8 standard.

When I went rummaging for the good on that airplane, I found it! I was safe and healthy and blessed to be traveling. That was just some of the good stuff that made its way through the 4:8 filter! As I spied the good, I saw the good! Sister, it really made a difference.

You may be stuck in a situation that stinks and you can’t change it. But, if you sift that situation through the 4:8 filter, you’ll begin to see what is good and lovely and true.

So, the next time you feel the grumpiness rise in you, or the next time you start to fume and get frustrated, ask God to help you apply some 4:8 to your thoughts. Oh, girl, when you can’t change a situation, it’s time to change your focus. It’s time to look for the good.

Ask yourself, is what I am dwelling on right now “good, lovely, of a good report?”

If not, renew that thought by focusing on what is true and finding the good in a situation or person. Strain your spiritual eyes to see what is lovely even in an ugly moment. Ask God to install a 4:8 alarm in your heart that will sound off every time you entertain a thought that doesn’t match the verse. This practice will help focus your thoughts on truth.

If you struggle with this—like I do—you may want to jot down the list of adjectives in the verse so you can refer to them all day. Make them a screen saver, put them on a sticky-note or write them on your hand!

The eventual result is that your focus will begin to change—you’ll see the good and lovely in everything!

So, do you need to do a little spiritual “I spy” today?

Sometimes we stay busy to outrun our fear of failure or keep us distracted from thinking. Sometimes, when we are overwhelmed by sorrow or stress, we just long to fix something, clean something … you know, do something!

Sometimes we just do and do and do because we aren’t quite sure how to simply be.

Now, I don’t mean getting still like striking a wax museum pose. And, I don’t mean getting still like shirking responsibility and quitting your job just to sit on the couch.

I mean getting still … in your soul, in your spirit. Creating a place in your soul to be still and know He is God—the in-control God.

What if you really could “be still and know He is God?”

My friend, you can and you need to. I sure did.

I learned during a hard bout of depression that when I really got still, I began to know that “He is God.” He really is God.

More importantly, I’m not supposed to be God, and neither are you.

He is God over my problems and God over my pain. He is bigger than any mountain I face and stronger than any power I possess.

When I got still and learned that He is God, it freed me up from fixing and doing and let me be … just be.

I will show you what I mean. I invite you in to sneak a peek of my journal from that long, dark year of depression.

Journal Entry: September 3, 2010

It’s almost time for Connor to get home from school. I have just rested for an hour. I don’t even know why. I don’t even feel tired. But, I feel overwhelmed by the vacuum I am living in at the moment. I lied there and asked the Lord, “What should I do? I don’t know what else to do. I am totally powerless, paralyzed and overwhelmed.”

I know He just impressed me—I know I heard His voice echo in my heart. He said, “You should not do, you should be … be still and know that I am God.”

Just be.

I guess resting is being. I guess walking through this season with open hands to receive is just being, not doing.

As I walk through this valley, I can be still. The Scripture doesn’t tell me to be a fixer and know He is God. It doesn’t tell me that I should do something so I will know He is God. He is reassuring me that I should simply be still … not run, fix and do. I won’t focus on doing, I will focus on being.

Even when I do have things I need to do, Lord, help me still to just be. Be still in You, rest in You, and know you are God. You are in charge. I can just be and You will do all the doing that needs to be done in and through me. Thank you, Lord.

So, my friend, perhaps today you just need to take a deep breath and be still so you know that you are not God … He is.

He wants to meet you in your stress or sorrow, so slow down and be still and know He is God. Stop trying to “do” and just “be.”

Be still.

What things do you need to disconnect from in order to reconnect with God and be still?

So, what was my word for this year?

Happy.

Not long after I picked that word, though, I broke my finger and my hero dad passed away. Those aren’t exactly ingredients for happiness, huh?

A broken finger was a painful annoyance, but losing my dad broke my heart. Even so, in the midst of it all, I am still learning what it means to be happy.

But before I tell you how, let’s pause and define the word “happy.”

Sometimes in Christian circles, “happy” gets a bad rep! We extoll joy and degrade happiness, thinking the former is more spiritual and the latter is, well, just plain self-serving and shallow.

Honestly, I used to think that—I even wrote about it.

I was taught that happiness is dependent on what happens on the outside, while joy is based on what you have on the inside. But, when I really looked in Scripture, I couldn’t find that distinction.

Both gladness and joy are mentioned in verses that treat them as if they are one in the same. And, joy and happiness are both emotions of pleasure and gladness (see Jeremiah 31:13, Proverbs 23:25, Psalm 16:11).

Sister, if Christ is in you, your life is bursting with the fruit of His Spirit—joy! And it expresses itself in finding pleasure in all that is good; in laughing, experiencing delight, and rejoicing with a smile.

It’s not only based on what you’ve got within, it’s also triggered by the wonder of God’s creation, the people around you, and all the fun and interesting things that happen in this life.

So, if you’re joyful, then you’re happy. Unhappy joy doesn’t exist!

But … what about when things aren’t so good? How do you find the happy then?
Sometimes you just can’t choose happiness. Life is too heavy, sorrow is too deep, and stress is too high.

You can, though, choose to press into the love of God, the comfort of His Spirit, and make choices that bring joy and allow room for happiness in your life.

So, if you want to join me in getting your happy on this year, here are three ingredients—in addition to Christ in us—for happiness.

1. Something to Do

Everyday needs a purpose. It brings us joy when we have something to accomplish, improve, tackle, contribute to, or enjoy. But, we don’t always know or notice our purpose.

Finding our purpose begins with finding our source of life. Our “do” flows from our “be.” We begin with who we are and then we determine what we do.

Paul wrote in Ephesians that “we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago” (Ephesians 2:10, NLT).

God created you. He is your source of life. And, He created you for a purpose.

He wired you to enjoy and engage in certain tasks and experiences that are good for you and for others. These “good things” bring God glory and make you smile.

So, if your day is missing a little zest, press into God’s Word and get to know the God who created you. You will grow in insight as to who you are and your purpose will become clearer—and, as this happens, you’ll taste happiness.

2. Someone to Love

We feel deep joy and experience happy moments when we love other people.

Selfish people aren’t happy people. When we are the only lonely thing on our minds, self-focused thoughts consume us—as in, eat us up and gobble up our joy. But when we love someone else, we live outside ourselves.

Scripture says it is more blessed to give than to receive (Acts 20:35). In other words, we get happier when we give love, give comfort, and give of ourselves. And, the beautiful thing about God’s economy is that as we give, we do receive.

So, whether it is a significant other, a pet, or a person in need, love someone besides yourself. You’ll receive a big dose of joy and a heap of happiness.

3. Something to Look Forward To

Sometimes we get the blues because our lives feel “same ol, same ol.” Even when we’re fulfilling our purpose and loving others, we can still lose a little of that happy shine because we can’t see beyond this day, this task, or this situation.

Seeing beyond today and having something to look forward to ignites our happiness and joy.

In one study, researchers even found that we experience more happiness—or at least just as much—from looking forward to something as we do from actually doing it. There is power in anticipation!

Girl, even if a lunch date with your BFF isn’t on the horizon, or that trip to Hawaii is way out of reach, you and I both have something bigger and better to look forward to!

Heaven.

Yes, what can give today the buzz and lift it needs is knowing that it is getting you one step closer to that place where tears are gone and we never, ever have to say good-bye again. That right there is enough to make me happy!

Your Father God wants you to experience all the happiness you can as you walk with Him all your days—whether it’s through the dark valleys or by the still waters.

Today, let loose the joy inside you. Laugh and smile. It’s okay to feel happy!

Make choices to live out your purpose, love others, and anticipate that glad morning when you will see the smile of God!

What ingredients would you add to this list of ways to get your happy on?

And then, I thought about my mom.

The strength I see in my mom is beyond what I imagine possible. Dad was her best friend. For 55 years, they did life and ministry together. Now, she is alone.

She weeps and she presses on. She cries and she consoles others. She perseveres, determined to find joy even while she feels such loss. She is generous in her grief; focusing on others’ tears, not just her own.

I hate this loss, but I love how it has revealed the essence of mom. Deep down, she is a warrior!

Dad always believed in her and praised her. Now, in his passing, the loss has provided a chance for him to continue to say, “Look at this woman! Isn’t she amazing?!”

My mom is a “She Can” woman!

She trusts her God and His plan. She feels deeply, but she doesn’t let every emotion dictate her choices. She has put her will—even though some days it feels awfully weak—under God’s will and that daily choice gets her out of bed each morning. I hope I am half the woman she is when I am called to this hard place someday.

She has learned something that makes her who she is, and it is something I am learning and you may need to learn too. She has learned how to be her own cheerleader.

Have you ever needed to be your own cheerleader? Have you ever wished you could remember something really motivating to tell yourself when you’re down or afraid?

Everyone feels fear and discouragement. Loss and loneliness can make us want to say, “I can’t,” and just crawl back into bed.

So, if that’s you, you don’t need to get out the pom poms, you just need to agree with the Truth! Let God’s Truth cheer you on to be the woman He created you to be.

Here are three statements you can use when you need to cheer yourself on—three “She Can Declarations” you can tell yourself to help you be brave even when you feel afraid. These will remind you of who you are and what you have in Christ.

Because, truly, deep down, you are like my mom … we are all “She Can” sisters!

1. She Can Sisters Say, “I Can!”

We can do all things through Christ Who gives us strength … that means “all things!”

Sometimes we get discouraged because we truly think we can’t do something because it’s too hard, too painful, too big, or too risky. But, She Can Sisters don’t say, “I can’t.” They say, “I can do all things through Christ’s strength.”

You can because you don’t have to pull from your strength, you draw from God’s. Sometimes when we think we’re saying, “I can’t,” we’re really saying, “I won’t.” There’s a big difference, sister. Say:

• I can … elevate my faith more highly than fear (2 Timothy 1:7).
• I can … do all things through Christ’s strength (Philippians 4:13).
• I can … overcome through faith (1 John 5:4).

2. She Can Sisters Say, “I Am!”

We are not what we do. We are not how we feel, or what we struggle with, or even what we have accomplished. We are who God says we are.

Sometimes we get discouraged or afraid to face life because we define ourselves by our failures. Sometimes, we tie our identity so tightly to our talents or success that when we mess up or realize someone is more talented, we don’t know who we are.

She Can Sisters define themselves the way God does—no more, no less! Say:

• I am … God’s workmanship (Ephesians 2:10).
• I am … more than a conqueror (Romans 8:37).
• I am … beautiful (Psalm 45:11).

3. She Can Sisters Say, “I will!”

When you really realize who you are and what you can do, then the brave response to life’s challenges is to say, “I will!” We take all our human will and we merge it with God’s will. The result is a brave woman who’s unwilling to give up or give in.

Instead of being governed by your “condition” of fear or discouragement, you can choose “volition”— engaging your will to be brave even if you feel fear. That’s what She Can Sisters do because of who they are and what they can do in Christ! Say:

• I will … trust God more than my feelings (Proverbs 3:5-6).
• I will … rest in God and not be shaken (Psalm 62:5-7).
• I will … never quit (James 1:12, Hebrews 10:39).

So, there you go, sisters! Every woman needs the reminder, “You can, you are, and you will!”

Now, take on the day!

What “She Can” declaration can you tell yourself today? Share in the comments.

Guess what?! This week, I launched my first-ever jewelry line … the She Can Collection! Learn more about the artisans in Honduras we’re partnering with and order your She Can necklace and interchangeable charms at SheCanCollection.com.

You know … strained relationships, difficult bosses, constant conflict, illness, financial stress … hard stuff!

Our hands can droop and our knees can wobble. We can look over our shoulder and think about turning back.

If that’s you, my friend, don’t turn back! Try to see your hard stuff as discipline.

Now, don’t worry. I didn’t say punishment.

Discipline … something to train you and make you stronger.

Yet I realize that “no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews 12:11)

The hard stuff has big potential to bring better days depending on our response to it.

So, I want to give you four different responses we can have to hard stuff. (But, I suggest you choose the last two!)

1. The Forlorn Fatalist

This woman blames her hard stuff on the law of averages.

“Everybody has trouble. Stuff happens. It’s just my lot in life.”

Half a century ago, Doris Day hit the charts singing, “Que sera, sera, Whatever will be, will be.” Today, we’d just roll our eyes and say, “Whatever.”

Instead of learning from the hard stuff, this fatalist female passes it off with a shrug.

The writer of Hebrews, however, warns us not to do that!

“Do not make light of the Lord’s discipline” (Hebrews 12:5).

In other words, sister, don’t lightly regard what He is doing in your life through the hard stuff. Ask God to enlighten your eyes so you can read between the lines! Instead of being forlorn, you will be fortified by His presence.

2. The Frail Fainter

When life gets hard, this woman collapses and quits! She picks up her marbles—or gathers her scrapbooking gear—and goes home.

If you listen closely, you can hear the frail fainter whine: “Why did this happen to me? WHY? I can’t take it anymore! It’s just not worth living the Christian life if this is how it is.”

You get the picture. She simply fades and, eventually, faints. But sister, “…Do not lose heart when he rebukes you” (Hebrews 12:5).

We don’t need to whine or wither when the hard stuff comes. No, let me remind you of who you are.

“But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved” (Hebrews 10:39).

Instead of fainting … have faith.

Set your hope on the fact that God will sustain you and strengthen you … no matter what you are facing, no matter what life delivers to your front door.

3. The Faithful Follower

This is the woman who endures!

“Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children” (Hebrews 12:7).

Sometimes we see the word “endure” and it conjures up pictures of a Christian couch potato—nursing her wounds and barely hanging on. But, that’s not what it means at all.

This isn’t passive! The term “endure” in its original language actually means “to actively persevere.”

Oh, girl, let’s be this woman!

Don’t throw in the towel.

Keep your shoes on and walk with perseverance.

Remain faithful, for there is a reward beyond imagination waiting for you if you do.

“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love Him” (James 1:12).

Girl, there is a “crown of life” just your size waiting for you in Heaven. You will look beautiful in it. So hang on, sister!

4. The Fruitful Finisher

This is the woman who hasn’t fainted or freaked out!

This is the sister who wasn’t forlorn … she was faithful and finished well.

We want to be her too! She would assure us, “it [hard stuff] produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:11).

Our fruitfulness depends on how we respond to all the hard stuff though.

Oh, girl, it may taste bitter right now, but sweetness is coming!

So, stay close to God, faithfully following, no matter how bumpy the road. There can be good stuff in the hard stuff if you let it train and discipline you. You aren’t alone. God is with you every step of the way and we’re all with you … striving to be faithful followers and fruitful finishers!

What about you? How have you seen God bring good, even in the hardships you’ve experienced?

I’ve been Thomas and I bet you have too, or you know someone who is right now.

There is no shame if you struggle with doubt. God invites your questions and wants to turn your confusion into clarity just like He did for Thomas.

Imagine what it was like for Thomas when Jesus, His Master and Friend, was crucified? The shock, the sorrow—but maybe he wasn’t simply a doubter; maybe he was a seeker … an honest seeker?

On Friday, Thomas’s hopes were crucified on the cross along with Jesus.

Good Friday? It didn’t feel so good to Thomas. Do you know how he felt? You lose something precious to you—a dream, a relationship, your health, your sense of purpose or security. Your hopes are shattered, and life suddenly isn’t what you expected.

On Saturday, Thomas was stunned, shocked, and grief-stricken—Jesus had died.

It wasn’t supposed to turn out this way. Perhaps you know how he felt because you find yourself in the aftershock of disappointment or tragedy.

You are stuck in a hard place and overwhelmed by sadness and confusion. What you hoped for didn’t happen, or what you prayed would not happen did. You aren’t sure what to do, but you know for certain that your life will never be the same.

On Sunday, Thomas heard from his friends that Jesus was alive.

Alive? He rose from the dead? Shouldn’t Thomas have an exclamation point at the end of that sentence, instead of a question mark? This meant hope is alive! But what should have filled him with hope instead left him feeling uncertain and unhappy. What was wrong with him?

Maybe you see yourself in this part of Thomas’s story. Your friends have a happiness you don’t. You envy their hopes and the way their lives look so peaceful compared to yours.

It seems so easy for some people to trust God, but for you, it’s hard. You seek the security and hope they have, yet you can’t shake your doubts or settle the grinding confusion in your heart.

In his despair and disillusionment, Thomas could have turned his back on everything. But he stayed connected with his friends and showed up for supper with the disciples a week later.

Jesus appeared among his followers. He entered through a locked door and greeted them with the words, “Peace be with you!” (John 20:26). Then Jesus held out his scarred hands, opened his outer garment, and said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe” (John 20:27).

Only the beautiful words of Jesus can bring the peace we long for when our hearts are broken.

In awe, Thomas drops to his knees and exclaims, “My Lord and my God!” (John 20:28).

Jesus knew Thomas had questions and doubts. Jesus didn’t scold Thomas or shame him. He simply offered Thomas a chance to seek Him and then see him as the risen Christ in a very personal way—he let Thomas feel his scars.

We all have “Thomas” times of hopelessness, doubt, and confusion. Just like Jesus offered grace to Thomas, He offers grace to you too.

If you are a “doubting Thomas” or you know someone who is, I think some renaming is in order. I think the name should be “honest Thomas.” To admit you struggle or doubt—we all may struggle or doubt—from time to time is just being honest.

Jesus revealed himself to Thomas, even though Thomas was doubtful. And that’s what Jesus does for all of us in our “Thomas Times”—he reveals who He is.

If you’re in a season of doubt, reach out to Jesus.

“You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13 NASB).

This Easter, I pray God shows you that your life can be full of hope because Jesus’ tomb is empty. Praise the Lord!

Are you or someone you love walking through a season of doubt? Share in the comments how this post encouraged you or how we can pray.