Are you feeling unhappy today in your marriage? Friend, you aren’t alone. We’ve all walked through unhappiness from time to time and not just in marriage.
Whatever our relationship status is—single or married, engaged or divorced—all of us struggle sometimes with making our need for happiness the greatest motivation for our relationships and choices in life.
![Can I Be Happy When I Don’t Feel It? [Episode 26]](https://www.jenniferrothschild.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/03_07_2019_Pod_26_CanIBeHappyWhenIDontFeelIt_Jan.jpg)
“It’s hard to make flamingos happy.” That’s what my son, Clayton, said to his friend, Brandon, a few years ago.
“How do you know about the emotional state of flamingos?” I asked as I placed a cheese pizza on the table.
Resentment. We all feel it from time to time.
It’s like the invisible undertow in the ocean that sweeps away even the most experienced swimmer. It pulls at us. It sucks us down into a pit of bitterness.
We hold a grudge. We secretly fume about what he said or she did. We keep a running list of how we’ve been wronged. We review how we’ve been hurt.
It is subtle until it is sudden.
In 2006, I was a guest on the Dr. Phil Show. Oh my gosh, girl! It was a fantastic experience full of surprises and expectations. I expected to have a pre-interview with a producer. I expected to have a totally interesting and slightly intimidating experience on set. I expected to have my make-up professionally done there in the studio. I expected cameras, questions and lots of nerves! I didn’t expect to talk to Dr. Phil personally offstage though. And if I did get to meet him, I expected him to be hurried and professional but not as engaging in private as he was on TV.
Well, most of my expectations were correct. I pre-interviewed with a producer. There were cameras, professional make-up (thank you, Lord), lots of questions and even more nerves! But, what I expected from Dr. Phil personally was not what I got! I expected him to be hurried. And, even though he was in a hurry, he wasn’t rushed. He was warm and casual. I expected him to be more guarded or distant in person than he seems to be on TV. Nope, he was so engaging and genuinely personally interested in me. I was totally thrown off – he was not who I expected him to be.
Do you feel like everything in your life has to be perfect to be successful?
According to the General Social Survey, which has tracked Americans’ moods since 1972…
A few years ago (ok, maybe like 10!), my family gathered around a large cheese pizza and I overheard a conversation between our son Clayton and his friend Brandon. “It’s hard to make flamingo’s happy,” Brandon sighed with resignation.
“I know,” consoled Clayton.
“What?” I asked. “How do your boys know about the emotional state of flamingos?!”
