According to the Scientific American, women are twice as likely as men to experience shame and are more affected by its toxic impact. Just as Adam and Eve hid in the garden and covered themselves with fig leaves, we too are inclined to hide under the cloak of shame.
But unlike Adam and Eve, our feelings of shame don’t necessarily mean we’ve done something wrong. Often it means we’ve begun to believe lies about our identity.
So today’s guest, author and podcaster Jasmine Holmes, will expose shame’s slimy roots and help you understand the difference between shame, guilt, and conviction.
Shame is to the soul what cancer is to the body. It eats away at our self-esteem, erodes our relationships, and keeps us from moving forward in life. In fact, toxic shame is often what drives addictions, anxieties, and depression.
But the good news is that freedom is possible. And that’s what we’re exploring today with author Dr. Gregory Jantz. He’ll weave together reliable psychological principles with biblical truths to start you on the path of wellness and peace.
We are all looking for peace, right? When it comes down to it though, what keeps us from experiencing peace is either living in the past or living for the future. We bounce back and forth between obsessing over a past we can’t change and worrying about a future we can’t control. And the result? We miss what God has for us here and now.
When I was in the third grade, we had a dog named Cannoli. She was a white, completely fluffy poodle … that is, until one day when she got a haircut.
My mom decided that Cannoli needed to look a little more legit. So, she took her to a groomer. Well, of course, any groomer was going to cut her hair like a poodle—you know, with the puffy little bottom and the puffy tail with the little ball on the end.
When I went to China, I got to meet some of Phil’s students. Oh, I guess I should tell you that was the reason we got to go on such an amazing once-in-a-lifetime trip; Phil was invited to teach at Liaoning Normal University in Dalian, China. While we were there, I got to visit his Venue Management class and meet his students.
Phil had told them I was blind and they were curious and asked lots of the usual questions like, “How do you ___?”(fill in the blank). There are a million “How do you do___? ” kinds of questions when you’re blind, but one young woman’s question totally blew me away — it was very revealing.
In broken, but very good English, she asked: “When you became blind, were you afraid people would be ashamed of you or your family would not love you?”
Our body language tells our secrets even when we think we’ve got them all under wraps! For example, body language experts say that when women feel shame, they may become small in posture by slouching or turning away. They may avert their eyes, kind of like a baby covering her own eyes and imagining she’s hiding. The experts describe the body language of shame as an attempt to be invisible or an effort to hide.
Wishing she was invisible? Longing to hide? That has to be exactly how the woman who had been caught in adultery felt when she stood before Jesus.