![Can I Lay Down Shame and Pick Up Grace Instead? [Episode 34] jpg](https://www.jenniferrothschild.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Pod_34_CanILayDownShame_Feb.jpg)
When I was in the third grade, we had a dog named Cannoli. She was a white, completely fluffy poodle … that is, until one day when she got a haircut.
My mom decided that Cannoli needed to look a little more legit. So, she took her to a groomer. Well, of course, any groomer was going to cut her hair like a poodle—you know, with the puffy little bottom and the puffy tail with the little ball on the end.
When I went to China, I got to meet some of Phil’s students. Oh, I guess I should tell you that was the reason we got to go on such an amazing once-in-a-lifetime trip; Phil was invited to teach at Liaoning Normal University in Dalian, China. While we were there, I got to visit his Venue Management class and meet his students.
Phil had told them I was blind and they were curious and asked lots of the usual questions like, “How do you ___?”(fill in the blank). There are a million “How do you do___? ” kinds of questions when you’re blind, but one young woman’s question totally blew me away — it was very revealing.
In broken, but very good English, she asked: “When you became blind, were you afraid people would be ashamed of you or your family would not love you?”
Our body language tells our secrets even when we think we’ve got them all under wraps! For example, body language experts say that when women feel shame, they may become small in posture by slouching or turning away. They may avert their eyes, kind of like a baby covering her own eyes and imagining she’s hiding. The experts describe the body language of shame as an attempt to be invisible or an effort to hide.
Wishing she was invisible? Longing to hide? That has to be exactly how the woman who had been caught in adultery felt when she stood before Jesus.
I sat on the front row in the church and listened to another speaker — my friend – and thought, Why can’t I get it together like she has it together? My best effort is like pond scum compared to her worst effort!
I had just presented a message before she did and I would present another message when she was finished. And, I didn’t want to stand on that stage and speak again; I wanted to shrink into the seat cushion because I felt totally incompetent and unnecessary at that moment. And then I felt shame for feeling that way at that moment!
But, here’s the thing. It wasn’t just at that moment I felt that way. That moment describes lots of moments for me!
