“I can’t believe I am 53 years old! I don’t feel qualified to be this age.”
That’s what I told Phil as we drove home from seeing our new grandbaby.
He laughed and reminded me that I say that about most areas of my life. Unfortunately, he is right.
I mean, there have been days I’ve thought, What am I doing writing blogs and books? I am way too under-qualified to write – like I have all this life stuff figured out?!
Or, I will be standing in front of my kitchen sink, self-doubt covering my heart and suds covering my hands, reviewing my latest parenting issue and think, Why can’t I master this mom-job? It feels so much bigger than me.
Or, inevitably before I get on stage to speak, I’ve fought the feeling that I am too immature or too inexperienced or too inadequate to open my mouth!
Do you ever feel out of your league when it comes to living your life, or pulling off your purpose, or following your calling?
I overheard the ladies at the table near me in my favorite tea room. They were deep in conversation. The shop was small and they were loud, so I could hear every negative and complaining word — even without trying! One was obsessed with how her husband didn’t measure up to her standards; the other was consumed with bitterness over a boss who she didn’t think valued her as she thought she deserved.
It struck me that they were both miserable — not because of what they lacked, but because of what they had. One was married; she had a husband, security and companionship. The other was employed; she had a job which provided her security and income. Yet, both were miserable and discontent with the portion they had.
I’ve been there too. That’s probably why their conversation struck such a familiar tone with in me! I often complain about what I have, overlooking the blessing it really is.
One of the highlights of my whole entire life was getting to pet lion cubs in South Africa! Yes, I got to get down on the ground with those cute little… well, chunky… big guys! They were just 6-month-old cubs and they were sleepy from the warm sun and their full bellies after lunch! I got to cradle their huge paws in my hands and stroke their ears!
They were so docile and sweet – as cuddly and compliant as a harmless stuffed animal in a baby’s crib!!
They aren’t always going to be so docile and snuggly. Nope. If I had hung out in their den for even another hour, giving them time to wake up from their naps, they would have been intimidating. And, if I gave them even a few weeks or months, they would eventually become snarly and fierce beasts that any sane adult should avoid.
Awhile back, I attended a meeting of small business owners with my husband Phil. There were four businesses represented; a frozen custard shop, a health food store, an accounting firm, and our ministry!
In order for the trainer to make a point about the perils and power of influence, she wrote several words on a white board. The words were a list of colors: red, black, blue, green…you get the idea. But, the tricky part was that she wrote all those words over and over in random order and each word which named a color was written with a marking pen of a different color! So, the word “pink” was written with blue ink; the word “yellow” was written in read ink! Stressed out yet? I know!