Can I Get Over My Need to Please? [Episode 19]

Can I Get Over My Need to Please? [Episode 19] jpg

Have you heard of Upright Go? It’s a posture pod, and I’ve been wearing one lately.

I stick it to my spine, push the button, and it either trains me or tracks me as I try to stand up a little taller and straighter.

The funny thing is, I have developed a relationship with this little buzzing buddy. When I hunch and it buzzes, I apologize to it as I pull back my shoulders and lift my chin.

I didn’t even realize that I do this until I stood at the elevator with Phil one day, and he heard me say, “Okay, okay, okay…” He didn’t know who I was talking to and what I was talking about.

Sometimes our need to please gets out of whack and we do all the right things for the wrong reasons. [Click to Tweet]

When I realized what I was doing, I explained that my buddy was buzzing and wouldn’t stop.

Then I noticed where my hand was. It was patting this posture pod stuck to my back. I was petting it to calm it down. I was trying to soothe it like it was a fussy child hanging on my back.

But, at the same time, I also felt this weird compulsion to obey it, to please it, and to keep it quiet and happy.

It doesn’t even weigh three ounces. It is not alive and has no feelings. Yet, I treat it like it is a pest I need to pacify and a boss I need to please. Crazy. It’s meant to serve me, not the other way around.

This buzzing buddy reminds me, though, that I often have way too big of a need to please. Maybe you can relate.

You do not need to earn God’s approval. He is well pleased because you are His. [Click to Tweet]

Oh, friend, it’s a wonderful thing for us to be accommodating, generous, and want to make other people happy. But sometimes our need to please gets out of whack and we do all the right things for all the wrong reasons. And, when this happens, we are left feeling stuck, worn out, and enslaved by the approval of others.

If that’s you today, then this episode of the 4:13 Podcast is just the encouragement you may need! KC and I talk about how you can get over your need to please—and, we get super practical. We give you three biblical motivations you can use for everything you do. They’ll help you ditch your people pleasing ways for good! And, there’s also a free download—Scriptures to help you ditch your people pleasing ways!

3 Motivations to Get Over Your Need to Please

  1. Find your satisfaction in God’s approval, not others. When you have an unhealthy need to please others, their approval and happiness can become the biggest thing on your mind and heart. But, when you are serving Christ, expect to disappoint others at times (Galatians 1:10). Sometimes you will need to make choices that others won’t like or understand. It’s okay. You can handle displeasing others. You can survive rejection. Romans 8:31 reminds us, “If God is for us, who can be against us?” So, find your satisfaction in knowing your main goal is to please God. Let His smile be enough for you.
  2. Work heartily for God’s honor, not people’s happiness. Colossians 3:23 reads, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.” That word “heartily” means with your whole self, or from your soul. It speaks of your motivation, or your focus. When you narrow your motivation to do your best for God, then you are protected from performing for others. God deserves your 100%. When you give Him your best, you can rest there. If others like it and are pleased, great. If not, you are pleased because you know you gave your best self and you did it because you love your Father.
  3. Seek forever affirmation over fleeting attention. Matthew 6:1 says, “Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.” This verse tells us to consider what kind of reward we really want: a temporary reward or an eternal one. Approval from people offers a temporary buzz. They are pleased until they change their minds or standards, and then you have to start all over again trying to please them. But, not with God. When Jesus was baptized, God said from heaven, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased” (Matthew 3:17). Jesus hadn’t started His public ministry. He hadn’t baptized or healed or performed a miracle. He just was. God’s approval came before Jesus’ performance. God was well pleased. So, when your need to please gets out of whack, think of Jesus’ baptism. Remember God is well pleased because you are His.

Remember, sister, whatever the question, the answer is always “yes, you can.” You can do all things—including get over your need to please—through Christ who strengthens you!

Related Resources

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Books and Bible Studies by Jennifer Rothschild

Links Mentioned in This Episode

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