Did you know that a lack of close friendships may be hazardous to your health?
Studies have shown that a lack of connection with people you care about not only leads to loneliness, but it also has harmful physical effects.
But, let’s face it, making friends isn’t always easy, is it? And, right now, you or someone you care about may be struggling to make meaningful connections.
Well, whatever your current friendship status is, I hope this episode of the 4:13 Podcast encourages you. I’ve invited my BFFs Paula and Joan to spill the beans with me about friendship—and I can’t wait for you to meet them!
You’ll hear us answer often-asked questions like who helps me shop for my clothes and we’ll even talk about what makes a good friend. Plus, you’ll learn how you can make friends and be a friend no matter your age or stage of life
So, pull up a chair and join us. You’re in for a fun conversation full of practical encouragement!
3 Types of Friends We All Need
According to Williams K. Rawlins, who is the Stocker Professor of Interpersonal Communication at Ohio University, there are three types of friends you and I need in our lives. Paula, Joan, and I agree!
- Someone to talk to. My friends and I have discovered that it’s important to be curious about each other and ask good questions. For example, Paula often asks us, “How are you in your deepest places?” It’s a question Joan and I can’t give a shallow answer to when we reply.When it comes to your friendships, the deeper your conversations go, the deeper your relationships will grow. So, be wise to ask your friends good questions and also be brave enough to answer the ones they ask you.
- Someone to depend on. It takes time to build dependency in friendships. And, it may not look identical in every relationship. The paralytic on the mat in Luke 5:18-25 is one example of an individual depending on his friends. He didn’t have faith on his own, but his friends carried him to Jesus.You may feel like you don’t currently have a friend you can depend on. If so, decide you’ll become dependable to another woman. When you do this, it helps to develop that friendship.
- Someone to enjoy. Joan, Paula, and I have lots of fun together. We spend Fun Fridays together, shopping and eating lunch. We also celebrate each other’s birthdays and go in together to buy a gift.Having a friend you enjoy spending time with is important. It brings much-needed joy to your life!
3 Assumptions You Need to Make to Form Friendships
The older you get, sometimes the harder it is to make friends. For me, I’ve learned that if I’m really going to form new friendships, I’ve got to make some assumptions. You can make these assumptions too.
- You have to assume that she’s not too busy. We often look around and think everyone is too busy for us. So, you have to assume that they are not. Because the truth is, when it comes to living in community and having a healthy life, we are too busy not to have friends.
- You have to assume that the answer “no” won’t kill you. Sometimes you and I don’t enter into friendships because we’re afraid of rejection. You may think that if they say “no” that it’s going to kill you. But believing this will keep you from making friends. So assume that you’ll be okay if someone tells you “no.”
- You have to assume she’ll like you. Sometimes we don’t make friends because we have to make sure all the ducks are in a row. Do we have enough in common? Will she like me? She might not like me, so I’m not going to try. But it’s better to assume she’s going to like you. When you believe this, it allows you to enter into a relationship as a likable person who’s ready to give to others.
As Paula says, friendship is a gift and we can ask God for it. He’s the Giver of good and perfect gifts (James 1:17). So, sister, pray for friendships and then be the friend that you want to have.
And no matter what you’re dealing with or how you’re feeling right now, remember you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength.
Books and Bible Studies by Jennifer Rothschild
- Me, Myself, & Lies: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself
- Me, Myself, & Lies for Young Women: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself
- Me, Myself, & Lies: A Thought Closet Makeover Bible Study
Links Mentioned in This Episode
- Holy Land Tour With Jennifer Rothschild, Tammy Trent, and Carol Kent
- Winnie the Pooh Character Descriptions
- Study on loneliness and disease in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences
- The Harvard Study of Adult Development
- These Are The 3 Types of Friends Everyone Needs in Their Life
- Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe to the 4:13 Podcast here.
- Were you encouraged by this podcast? Reviews help the 4:13 Podcast reach more women with the “I can” message. Click here to leave a review on iTunes.
What Winnie the Pooh character are you?