If You’re Afraid of Not Measuring Up

When I went to China, I got to meet some of Phil’s students. Oh, I guess I should tell you that was the reason we got to go on such an amazing once-in-a-lifetime  trip; Phil was invited to teach at Liaoning Normal University in Dalian, China. While we were there, I got to visit his Venue Management class and meet his students.

Phil had told them I was blind and they were curious and asked lots of the usual questions like, “How do you ___?”(fill in the blank). There are a million “How do you do___? ” kinds of questions when you’re blind, but one young woman’s question totally blew me away — it was very revealing.

In broken, but very good English, she asked: “When you became blind, were you afraid people would be ashamed of you or your family would not love you?”

A Rational Guide to Valentine’s Day

My daughter-in-law Caroline is joining us for Java today! And even though I’ve posted this before, it’s too good not to share it again today. She’s talking about Valentine’s Day – the expectations and the reality. She’s a 20-something with a great perspective that will encourage and challenge you.


guest post by Caroline Rothschild

Today is Valentine’s Day. In the middle school world, it’s the day that roses are delivered to classrooms and kids walk around with giant teddy bears bought from the grocery store. In the adult world, it can easily move from being about chocolate to something far more complex; the day can too often become about feeling loved.

I wrote the post below about 4 years ago, and I find myself publishing it again each year because, somehow, it stays relevant. Regardless of age or stage of life or relationship status, the post stays relevant because it’s really not about Valentine’s Day; it’s about expectations. And, so often, our expectations are set so high that they are bound to let us down.

Valentine’s Day in elementary school rocked. Back then the only downside was creating the Valentine’s box. Every year I tried to make these outlandish boxes that inevitably failed, and then my dad would come to the rescue and do damage control on my box super-late the night before Valentine’s Day.

When “I Love You” is Just What You Need to Know

Lisa gets it. She’s felt it. She’s lived it. As a widow and single mom of 7, she knows the unmatched power of the words “I love you.” She shares with us today how those 3 words that have sustained her can bring the healing you are looking for. So, pour yourself a cup of java and let’s lean in to Lisa’s story. I just love it when friends join us for coffee! Okay, Lisa… our coffee is poured, our hearts are open… take it away!


guest post by Lisa Appelo

I received a frantic text from my daughter with the news.

We were stunned. Our dear friend’s young daughter had been admitted a week earlier to the hospital without any real alarm. The first uneventful night had turned into several critical days and nights and then suddenly, she began to spiral quickly, her organs shutting down one by one.

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Her family – siblings and parents now gathered around her hospital bed – held her in the shocking surreal of her last hours, as she passed from this life into eternity.

When I received my daughter’s  text with the news, I hurried from our Sunday evening church service straight to their home. Already, friends had begun to gather around this family.

Your Worth is in His Word: 66 Ways God Loves You

One of the most treasured things I own is broken. But, I still love it.

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Here’s the back story:

In college, my friend Tony broke up with his fiancé – or maybe she broke up with him — I never really knew for sure.  But, what was for sure is that the jeweler wouldn’t give him his money back when he returned the engagement ring.  Bad for brokenhearted Tony. Good for supportive friend Jennifer!

Letting Go of What You Thought for What Is True

In 2006, I was a guest on the Dr. Phil Show. Oh my gosh, girl! It was a fantastic experience full of surprises and expectations. I expected to have a pre-interview with a producer. I expected to have a totally interesting and slightly intimidating experience on set. I expected to have my make-up professionally done there in the studio. I expected cameras, questions and lots of nerves! I didn’t expect to talk to Dr. Phil personally offstage though. And if I did get to meet him, I expected him to be hurried and professional but not as engaging in private as he was on TV.

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Well, most of my expectations were correct. I pre-interviewed with a producer. There were cameras, professional make-up (thank you, Lord), lots of questions and even more nerves! But, what I expected from Dr. Phil personally was not what I got! I expected him to be hurried. And, even though he was in a hurry, he wasn’t rushed. He was warm and casual. I expected him to be more guarded or distant in person than he seems to be on TV. Nope, he was so engaging and genuinely personally interested in me. I was totally thrown off – he was not who I expected him to be.

What Are You Teaching Your Child About God?

The first words from a first born baby are just the best, aren’t they?

Our first child’s first word was… wait for it… wait for it… ball!

Yep, not original, but, girl, I wrote it down in the baby book, called my mom and was so excited I could have started a blog dedicated to his brilliance.
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Then, he added words, but only a few. He called my husband “Dadda” and he could also say “up” when he wanted out of his crib.