I wish I hadn’t turned on the TV this morning. The slow pace of summer made me think I could do such a risky thing. I awoke a little later than usual. I knew the kids were still asleep and knew Phil was already up. So, still lying in bed, I grabbed the remote and within seconds GMA appeared on the screen.
I was just in time to hear an interview with Angelina Jolie. She was introduced as one of the most beautiful women in the world.The interviewer went on to describe how she is starring in a new movie where she plays a spy. She does her own stunts; she is an amazing mother; she’s athletic; she’s smart; she’s articulate and she’s got a great figure. Whew!
I dragged my very un-athletic self out of bed to perform the only stunt I was capable of; walking to the kitchen to pour my coffee! When I arrived in my faded PJ’s, Phil greeted me with a cup of coffee.“Thanks honey” I said. Then I asked, “Did you see that piece on GMA about Angelina?” He told me he did so I said, “I bet you like her more than me!” He giggled as I recounted how pretty she is, what a great figure she has, how smart she is, what a great mom she is, how athletic she is and on and on I went.
“You’re not having a good day, huh?” he consoled.
We laughed as I sipped coffee and thought about my insecurity. It’s not that I want to be the most beautiful woman in the world. It’s not that I want to be athletic, smart, amazing and anything else the interviewer presented Angelina to be. I don’t want to be her. I just don’t want to be confronted with her perfection first thing in the morning!
Do you know what I really want? I just want to get through the day! I just want to find a swimsuit that hides my middle aged stomach! I just want to sleep through the night without getting up three times to use the restroom and two times to wipe the sweat off me from hot flashing! I just want to make my world make sense; help my kids grow up well and laugh at myself. I just want to be the kind of wife my husband finds charming and inviting. I just want to love God and trust Him forever. I just want to be a reliable friend and a woman full of grace and truth. I just want to be a little less insecure!
If I can perform those “stunts,” Angelina herself may want to be a little like me!
Though I don’t want to have to digest Angelina’s perfect life with my breakfast again, a taste of my own insecurity really is a good thing. It makes me find security in deeper places.
Angelina in the morning makes me appreciate that God sees me, and her, and you through eyes of love. He thinks she’s beautiful; I’m beautiful and you’re beautiful!! He isn’t so concerned that we perform our own stunts in this life. He is perfectly willing and eager to step in and be in and through us what we could never be on our own. Now, that’s a reason to feel very, very secure.
Your Thoughts: How has knowing God helped you with your insecurities? Leave a comment here.