Well, as I write this I am eating some dark chocolate and sipping some cinnamon tea because that is what I do when I need to regroup emotionally. Why, you might ask, am I needing to regroup emotionally? Let me set the stage…
I am alone in my kitchen. I am listening to an instrumental collection of songs entitled “Peace”. I am humming along to Chris Rice playing “Like a River Glorious.” I am totally, thoroughly, completely soaking in the moment; quiet house, peaceful thoughts and the fragrance of cinnamon tea brewing. While the tea is brewing and my thoughts are hovering somewhere above planet earth, I walk out of my kitchen to get my favorite tea cup from the dining room. I walk directly into my kitchen wall.
My hand flies to my brow where the bump is beginning to swell. I say, “I can’t stand this” as I reorient and go to my freezer for an ice pack. I stand before the open freezer, a Sponge Bob shaped ice pack above my left eye, and try to lift my thoughts from how frustrating it is to be blind back to the peace that flows like a river. I take a deep breath and go back to the cabinet in my kitchen and pull out a mug instead. I lay down the ice pack, pour a steaming cup of cinnamon tea and proceed to leave the kitchen again, mug in hand.
Again, I walk into the wall. This time, cinnamon tea splashes down the wall and my right brow is throbbing. I say louder, loud enough to drown out the peaceful music which is now getting on my nerves, “I can’t stand this!!”
I stand there, face to face with the reality that I just can’t be thinking about anything else as I walk and not be prone to disorientation. I internally fume that blindness demands my total, thorough and complete concentration. I go back to the counter where a sweating Sponge Bob ice pack lays and pick it up to place above my right eye. I am not smiling. I repeat, sorta as a prayer and sorta as a angry mantra, “I can’t stand this.”
And, then, I make a decision.
I put down Sponge Bob, get a paper towel, and walk to the wall for the third time (this time it’s intentional) and wipe off the tea that is still dripping to the floor. I throw the paper towel away, retrieve my half-empty mug, top it off with tea, and decide I can’t change my situation. As much as blindness frustrates me and discourages me, I simply can’t change it. So, mug in hand, I lift it it to toast myself! “I can’t stand it; I can’t change it, so I will not be defeated by it!” then, I clear my mind completely, walk slowly out of the kitchen and come to my computer to write this all down.
Because I am not the only one who feels this way. You may feel this way too for all together different reasons. Some circumstances in life we simply can’t stand. They hurt us; they frustrate us, and they discourage us. But, if we can’t change them, we must do more than simply eat chocolate to emotionally regroup. We must each make the decision to stand.
I said “I can’t stand it” because it’s just a familiar phrase. But, the truth is I can stand it. I can stand firm in it; I can stand against the urge to get bitter because of it. I can put on my armor, piece by piece, and stand. When I have done all I can do to stand, then I will stand some more. And, so can you. You are only defeated by your circumstance if you let it be an excuse to sit out, give up or turn back. My friend, I can stand, and so can you.
“So, kitchen wall, take that!! Blindness, I’m talking to you, too. You are not the boss of me. I may not be able to change it, but I WILL stand it!!”
Who needs chocolate now?!
What are some of the daily frustrations you face and how are you standing against them? Leave a comment here.