Do you ever struggle with self-doubt? Sometimes I do! There are times when I lack confidence, and insecurity gets the best of me.
If you’re a little shaky in the confidence department also, it’s time for a no-nonsense conversation to help you reclaim your confidence and show self-doubt the door. And, friend, you’re going to love who we’re having this conversation with—it’s author Alli Worthington.
Alli’s known for her straight-talking encouragement and practical tools that help women—just like you—reach your dreams in business and life. Author of The Year of Living Happy, Fierce Faith, and Breaking Busy, she’s a well-known speaker, podcaster, and business coach. Her no-nonsense, guilt-free take on business, family, and balance has led to multiple appearances on the TODAY Show and Good Morning America. Alli lives with her husband, Mark, and their five sons outside of Nashville with the only golden retriever who refuses to retrieve.
In this episode of the 4:13 Podcast, Alli helps you recognize and eliminate what holds you back from being who God created you to be. She gives you practical wisdom on how to live out your true self with strength and grace. You’ll learn how to tackle the obstacles of self-doubt, fear, and insecurity—and find your way back to the dreams planted deep in your heart.
How to Conquer Self-Doubt and Live With Confidence
- Understand how God sees you as a woman. As Alli’s talked to women throughout the years, she’s listened as many have shared how they grew up either hearing messages or simply believing that God made them second-class citizens. Maybe that describes what you’ve believed also! You may think that because women were created second, that we’re an afterthought to God and not as important as men. But, friend, that’s not true!
Alli shares how God created women, not as an afterthought, but to be the finishing touch of humanity. While we are helpers, we’re strong, mighty, and not in any way “less than.” She says that when we really look at the original meaning of the words in Genesis that have been translated to “helpmate,” we see that they mean “a helper corresponding to him” or “a helper opposing him.” This idea of opposing is similar to how one plank opposes or supports another one. It supports or strengthens it and keeps it from falling over. It’s also like how the two wings of an airplane oppose each other and allow it to fly, or how a bike can’t go down the street without opposing wheels. God created us to complement, or oppose, in a strong and healthy way.
God not only created us to oppose but to create. We women create with our words, with our gardens, and we even create people. When we change our thinking and perception of who we are as women in God’s kingdom, it allows us not to let self-doubt or adversity hold us back.
- Be careful what social media voices you listen to. Researchers show that the more time we spend on social media, the more likely we are to suffer from depression and anxiety. Alli says this is one reason we need to be careful about how we curate our social media feeds. It’s important that the accounts we’re following are those that build us up and don’t in any way accidentally tear us down.
As we carefully choose our feeds, it’s also important for us to understand that the vast majority of social media is done for a specific reason—and that’s to promote businesses. There are women who regularly have beautiful photo shoots with professionals who come in and make them and their families look great. They have a lot of help and resources. But when we’re watching them on social media, it’s easy to forget that everything we’re seeing is a perception crafted by make-up artists and interior decorators. We may end up looking at our own lives and thinking, “Well, I still have all of the spaghetti dishes from last night in the sink, and I haven’t washed my hair in a couple of days. I’m failing at life.”
Even when we know that a lot of what we see on social media is a highlight reel, there’s something inside our brains that can’t seem to turn off the self-doubt. So, if we want to live with confidence, we need to arm ourselves with this knowledge and carefully curate our feeds when using social media.
- Realize there’s no replacement for Scripture. The encouraging words we read on social media aren’t the same as Scripture. Yet sometimes, as Alli shares, we can substitute the good, encouraging social media stuff for the real stuff of Scripture.
It’s easy to tell ourselves, “Oh, I’m listening to a sermon or a podcast” or “I watched something on YouTube,” or maybe, “I saw a few verses go by on my feed.” As a result, we forget to really, intentionally spend time with the Lord and get into His Word.
Even if we carefully curate our social media feeds and everything we’re following and doing is good and beneficial, it’s not enough. If we don’t get quiet and spend time in God’s Word, and pray and wait to hear from Him, we’re missing out on everything we really need to help us conquer self-doubt and live with confidence.
- Take action on what God’s put in your heart. In addition to being in God’s Word to help us overcome self-doubt, Alli says that we also need to take action. “God has helped me cross a hundred finish lines,” she says, “but He’s never laced up my shoes.” She talks about how God allows us the honor of partnering with Him to do His work in the kingdom on earth right now, but this partnership requires we take action on the things He’s put in our hearts to do.
Our brains are not more powerful than our God. He can help us overcome self-doubt and live with confidence. [Click to Tweet]
When self-doubt rises and tries to stop us from taking action, one thing we can do is outsmart the prefrontal cortex in our brains. Alli explains that this part of the brain is where we determine whether we’ll take action or not—and that we decide quickly. Generally, our default is not to do anything too difficult. But, we can use the five-second mantra of “5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Go!” to kick ourselves into action. For example, that’s why in the morning when we first wake up, if we launch ourselves out of bed, we’re up. But if we take just a minute to stay in bed and roll around, we’re in bed for another thirty minutes.
And, as we try this “5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Go!” trick, we also want to be intentional to invite God into this process. We can do this by 4:13ing it and remembering that He’s the One who gives us strength.
Sister, you’re stronger than you think! Remember, no matter how you feel, you can move forward with confidence because you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength.
Books and Bible Studies by Jennifer Rothschild
- Me, Myself, & Lies: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself
- Me, Myself, & Lies for Young Women: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself
- Me, Myself, & Lies: A Thought Closet Makeover Bible Study
More from Alli Worthington
- Visit Alli’s website
- Standing Strong: A Woman’s Guide to Overcoming Adversity and Living With Confidence
- Called Creatives Coaching Community
- Follow Alli on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram